New life, new choices
by aformoflife
Summary: As Elena deals with her new situation as a vampire she learns new things about herself. Will her choices be influenced by this new discoveries? Set post 3.22, mainly Damon and Elena
1. My choice,His choice, Our choice

**Disclaimer: I do not own TVD or any of the characters, they belong to their rightful owners. This is wrote for non-profit purposes only.**

I woke up, so to speak, in a hospital room. The confusion didn't last long; unfortunately I've seen it too often to not know what was happening to me. I was in transition. But all I was able to do was register the facts pretty fast. What I couldn't do was care about any of it. I was utterly numbed. With the same numbness I noticed Stefan and all of his emotions regarding the situation. It was quite obvious; they were there plastered on his face. Despair, that was what Stefan was feeling, unending sadness. And then I realized he was preparing himself to say goodbye to his love. He was sure I didn't go through it. That was the obvious conclusion; the last two years of my human life were a perpetual struggle to avoid the undead life. During this time I made my position quite clear often enough. So why Stefan's surrender made me feel so mad? Wasn't I ready to give up, to just sit and wait for death, the real, final death? Maybe I was, but Stefan's certainty was an extra pressure, like if I choose to go through transition I was betraying my old self, his Elena. There was something small in me ready to surface, a desire to fight, to live, to survive. I decided to ignore it. All this thoughts lasted merely a fraction of a second, barely enough time for Stefan to realize I was awake and forcing a frail smile. I forced one myself. I began to concentrate on the glass is half full part of this situation; I had almost a day to say goodbye, to have some kind of closure with my friends, with Jeremy.. In that instant the door swung open and Damon entered which reminded me of our last conversation, I let him go, I choose Stefan when I thought that they will die, but they were still alive, and that was a reason to rejoice. Even though I let him go, he came back to me, I wish I was surprised but I wasn't. Something inside me knew Damon wasn't one to go away just because someone says so. He was stubborn and fierce.

"So this was stupid, we escaped all kind of supernatural disasters and you end up dead in a fucking car crash."

"Damon", Stefan said with disapproval.

"What, Stefan? It's the bare, ugly, anticlimactic truth."

"Nevertheless, this is not the moment to point it out." Stefan continued with underlined anger.

"Well, I'll stop it then but I will remind Elena for the rest of her undead life that this was stupid."

The final line left Stefan and I in a silence filled with sadness, sorrow and all this fucked up emotions. Damon looked at us puzzled for a moment then putting two and two together he became outraged, he came so close to me that I almost flinched, it was painfully visible that anger was building inside him bigger and bigger.

"No fucking way Elena, no fucking way. You listen to me you're not going to do this to me; you're not going to play the saint card, the "I don't want to live this way" card. An undead life is better than no life. No way. I won't let you." I could see him trying hard to keep control over his emotions; it was taking all his strength.

" Damon, I…" I was trying to say something sensible, to make him understand that it was my choice, that he should accept it, but I couldn't. Maybe because I didn't had so much conviction in my decision, maybe because I wanted someone to fight for me, for my survival, if I wouldn't let myself fight for it.

Seeing that I was unable to talk, Stefan jumped in, trying to do the honorable thing, to defend my free will and so on.

"Damon, is not about you, is about what Elena wants, it's her life, her morals, her choice, so you have nothing to say about it."

"Oh, here you got it wrong little brother, everything that concerns Elena is about me, especially her survival because, you see, I love her"

"Damon, you still hadn't learned what love is all about, is about letting the one you love make their own decisions and support them through it"

"Oh stop with the teenage magazine's bullshit, you sound like a cheesy front page article in Cool Girl or something. I'm done with all this preaching about love and how is right and wrong to love. I love Elena and I want her to be alive. End of story. And I would stop at nothing to make sure that's the way it will turn up. You both can be sure of this."

"And I will stop at nothing to prevent you from doing something stupid." Stefan punctuated making clear that he was ready to fight. Their enraged gazes spoke volumes.

Looking at the two of them ready to once again oppose each other for me, for what they thought was best for me, the small part inside of me who wanted me to keep going, to feed, to live, to be, suddenly surrendered and went quiet. I realized that if I finally die they would be able to be brothers, to stop with this ridiculous grudge, with this preposterous, never ending war between them and finally be there for each other for the rest of their existence. But if I chose to become a vampire I will for ever be between them, I will forever keep them apart, even if I were to leave them both, they will never let go. Looking at it from this perspective everything appeared clear. I mustered all my courage and said with determination.

"Stop it, both of you, now. I don't have time for this childish behavior. I don't want any of you to fight my battles; you have done it enough when there were battles to be fought, now it isn't any left, is just goodbye. And for now, I want some time with Jeremy, so I will go home."

And with that I left them there in the hospital unable to offer something more for the time being. I needed my brother.

On the way back home I used my new found speed and to my utter surprise I found it to be exhilarating and suddenly I was eager to test more of this abilities. I always thought that if I were to be in this position I would want in my last day to do just normal human things; and now to discover that I wanted to see what would be to live like a vampire it was confusing. I didn't engage in this trail of thoughts much longer because I had things to do, to say goodbye, to leave some words of wisdom, some final requests, and some final advices.

Looking Jeremy in the eyes and telling him that I decided not to turn was the singles difficult thing I had to do in my life. It felt so unfair. After all, he lost everyone in his life, his parents, his family, his girlfriends, and he was still so young. He clung to me, he cried, he told me to reconsider, he became angry, he demanded, he finally accepted it. I loved him even more for fighting for me, but I was relieved that he capitulated because I simply couldn't argue for one minute more for my impending demise.

We sat together, talking about our childhood, laughing softly from time to time, crying in silence every now and then. I told him I wanted him to try and not get bitter; to not let all this loss he suffered in the past two years to prevent him from enjoying his life. I demanded him to live for the both of us. And to do it all without sorrow. He nodded. After a couple of hours I asked him if he could leave me alone for a little while, he reluctantly accepted. I wouldn't ask that from him if I didn't need a little bit of time to try to figure out how to say my farewell to Stefan and Damon. With Stefan was bound to be sad and heartrending, and I needed so much emotional strength for this, but with Damon it was going to be the hardest final fight to make him to let me go, and all the while trying to preserve in him the humanity I saw surfaced in these years. I needed a moment to think, to breathe, so I went in my room.

As I climbed the stairs I felt something unusual, my nostrils flared, my mouth became dry , my throat was preparing for something, my gums started to hurt and I felt a very powerful pull towards my room, I speeded up and almost run through the door. There was Damon with an unreadable expression but I couldn't force myself to pay him more attention, in this room was something else I needed to find, I didn't exactly knew what, although I had a good guess. And sure enough on my pillow there was a bag of blood. For a split second I couldn't stop from thinking that it was like a chocolate bar on a hotel pillow, but it was so much more. It surpassed all the human cravings I used to have, it was all consuming and it blurred my ability to formulate even a simple thought. I knew I had to run from this room if I wanted a chance but instead I snatched the blood bag faster than a human eye would have noticed and just like that I felt my teeth extending. That was it; it was just me and the blood. But right when I was ready to take the leap I heard Damon's sigh of relief and all of a sudden it wasn't just me and the hunger, the need. It was also Damon and Stefan, and my previous reason, my desire to extract myself from this tangled equation so that the two of them could have each other. I threw the blood onto the walls of my room and I jumped through the window. As I ran I started to get angry with Damon, how could he do something like that? Basically he had tried to set me into a trap. How could he? As I felt my resent grew stronger I run into something solid, the hit making me fall backwards. It was Damon. And if it was possible he was angrier than I was.

"Are you stupid or something?" he was so cold, he didn't pleaded, he was just determined.

"Right back at you Damon. How could you try to set me up like that? You didn't learn nothing from the last time you feed me your blood? What would have happen if I would have drunk the blood?"

"What would have happened? It's very easy Elena. You would survive, you would be alive, you would be pissed as hell with me and eventually, after a century or two you will get over it."

I open my mouth to say something, but he stopped me.

"Wait, I didn't finish, you might even hate me forever but I could live with it if you only live. It's that simple Elena."

"But what if I ended up hating myself Damon? What if I would hate the person that I would become? Could you live with that?"

"Oh, stop being overdramatic Elena. I accepted your decision to never turn, to live your life as a human being, even though my entire soul screamed for having you forever on this earth, mind you, not for me, just on this earth. But I conceded in this department, because there was a life to be lived. Now you died, and you lived so little. You have a chance to live still and I would do everything for you to not throw it away. You see Elena, we all yarn for our humanity, and you saw that, and maybe that's why you're not eager to make the transition. But there is another side of this story also, every single one of us enjoys being alive too, and no matter the obstacles, the struggles we face we keep the fight. So should you. Even my saint brother, no matter the darkness he went through he still hanged around in this world. And guess what? He then found you. He found love."

"But it's so final, such a final decision, Damon."

"Oh, sweetheart, hate to break it to you but so is death."

"But... I would be a …."

"You can say it, it won't hurt my feelings, a monster. I thought that once about all of us, but as you go along you can notice more the layers of it all, it's not so black and white, you will find to appreciate the grayness."

"I don't think that I can, Damon. I don't have it in me."

"Elena I find myself tempted to disagree, but I won't. And I will give you that, if someone would be able to keep their light through all of this, through the undead life, that would be you."

It was harder and harder to keep tight to my resolution, I wanted badly to give up, to walk on Damon's path, I felt on to the grass and I started sobbing softly, all the events of the day catching up with me. It was too much. Damon came next to me and embraced me. I relinquished in this embrace that was not at all sexual but only comfortable, so comfortable. He kissed my forehead so light, that it was almost like the touch of a feather. And despite the turmoil of the situation or maybe because of it, I felt a hunger inside me that had nothing to do with blood, a hunger for the man beside me, the one I let go off only hours before, and with that hunger another one arise, a hunger for life, for the possibilities that could appear with said life. It only made it worse, and my tears started to multiply.

" Silly girl, there is no reason to cry, I will let you in with a secret, the only truly final and tragic decision you could make would be to die. If you turn you could end it anytime, if you despise it is enough to take a sun bath without protection and kabom, problem solved. After a few millenniums I could stake you myself because sometimes you are pretty annoying, you know that, don't you?"

A laughter escaped my lips and I was in awe as to how Damon managed to make me laugh in such a moment, but more important what he said made total sense, and the little voice inside me that told me from the moment I woke up in the hospital to fight, to survive, was getting louder and louder. I wanted to turn, I wanted to see if it was a life I could live, I wanted to be with Jeremy, Caroline, Bonnie and Matt. I wanted to not leave Stefan. I wanted so badly to not leave Damon. Maybe he noticed my change of heart because a smile of triumph appeared on Damon's face. And watching his beautiful eyes lighting up with hope I remembered something crucial.

"Damon, I can't. I'm sorry but I can't. I don't want to live forever between the two of you, to be for the rest of the time the one thing that separates you, that makes you fight. I can't. I'm so tired. And that's my final decision so please let us enjoy our farewell."

He rose to his feet and brought me up with him grabbing my shoulders. I was startled by his sudden movement and also by the excruciating pain that his eyes held.

" Don't do this to me Elena, don't do it, please have a soul, when Alaric died…oh, God, I never experienced a loss like in that moment when I realized you died, I thought I suffered in the last two century, it was nothing, a joke compared to what I felt today, and when I found out you had vampire blood in your system, you can't imagine the relief, the bliss. When I thought I would die today I consoled myself knowing that you would live on. You already chose Stefan, and I'm fine with it, I don't care, alright I might care, but it's nothing compare to you being alive. I will leave town, I will leave the two of you alone not bothering you with my presence, it doesn't matter Elena as long as you are alive. But don't you dare give up."

He started to cry. For God sake Damon was crying and I was crying and all was such a mess. I didn't knew what to say, he said so many heartfelt things, and I didn't knew what to say back so I said the truest thing I could.

"I don't want you to leave, I want for you two to be brothers; I don't want to stand between you."

"Alright, I won't go anywhere, I'll be there and Stefan and I will be just peachy, trust me. Don't you see? You could have it all. Just feed, dammit, just feed." He pleaded now, I made Damon to plead, to beg. What have I done to this man?

I was starting to give up, to submit to Damon's will, such a strong will. And just when I wanted to say yes to all of it two things happen simultaneously, I felt feeling unbelievable sick, and Jeremy approached us in a hurry.

Damon knelled and hovered above me, anguish all over his face.

"What's wrong with her, Damon?"

"She's dying. It's happening so fast, we don't have anymore time, Jeremy I need you to follow my direction and be calm. I'm gonna cut your wrist and you will let her drink from you, when I will stop her you will run back home and stay in there. Did you understand?"

"But she doesn't want to turn." Jeremy almost cried, torn between his desire for my survival and his desire to respect my will.

"You listen to me, she wants to turn even if she doesn't yet know it, she would have turned if she had a little more time, trust me, we don't have time to spare on nonsense." And with that last word he split Jeremy wrist and tiny little drops of blood appeared.

Until that moment I was a silent witness to all that was happening, unable to gather the strength to say anything, but the thought of drinking from Jeremy, of maybe hurting him, of killing him in the haze of hunger pumped through me a doze of adrenaline which made me able to riposte. So I yelled.

"No way, Damon please, Jeremy run..." and I struggled against Damon's iron arms. I saw in Jeremy eyes the doubt; he most likely thought that I was fighting against the idea of being a vampire. Little did he knew that it was all that I wanted. In that instant I truly wanted to go on living, I wanted to turn, oh God, so badly, I was only afraid of hurting my brother.

With my struggle Damon's pressure grew stronger, my frail fight received only more determination. I realized pretty fast that I couldn't win; he was resolute about winning this match so that the battle could go on. So I surrendered, for the first time in my yet human life, I utterly surrendered to someone else willpower and I was astonished to find it quite liberating. In the second before the first drop of blood hit my lips I realized how close I was to the real death, to the finality of it all. Let me tell you something, people often say that love can change people, I think it's true, it can make you see things clearer, it can make you want to be better. But being on the verge of death, literally, not just in danger, that's what can change a person. Because all the walls you build up for yourself crumbles down, all the masks you wear for your benefit, for everybody's benefit fades away and you're left just with the bare truth. Do you want to know what my truth was? I'm gonna tell you, regardless of all my bullshit about doing the right thing, about sacrificing myself and all that, I wanted only two things: to live and love. And I couldn't care less of anything else. Of the people I hurt, of right and wrong. That was my truth. Shhhh.

And I drank from Jeremy wrist with the power of my new revelation but, too soon for my desire, Damon yielded me away from my source of nourishment. I began to fight him trying to drink more, but he was no match for me.

"Jeremy run" I heard him.

After a few moments Jeremy was nowhere to be seen, nowhere to be smelled, no longer a temptation; after a few moments I was starting to feel so much better; after a few moments I realized that Damon was rocking me back and forth in his arms like a mother would do with her infant. After a few moments I realized I wasn't going to die, I would live forever. I raised my eyes looking into Damon's. And I knew what he saw in my eyes: undying gratitude.

"It's all going to be alright Elena, I promise you." His voice was so gentle, so reassuring. I must confess I believed him.

As I felt the power of life, of undying life, gathering inside me, I pushed outside Damon's arms and rose to my feet.

"So, tonight I died." I told him bluntly.

"So, tonight you were born." He replied almost mockingly.

I half smiled.

"I'm confused Damon, I don't know what to do. I have a thousands concerns, how will I manage the hunger, what will I drink, what about high school, how long can I live in Mystic Falls…."

"Shh, slow down Elena, you don't have to think of all of this now, tonight. And you're not alone; basically you have more vampire friends than humans, so chill out. I'm gonna help you all the way through and so will Stefan."

Hearing his name made me flinched. I remembered that he most likely waited for me to come around and say my finale goodbye. How will he deal with my transformation? This was the most stupid question ever, he loved me, he would be glad, of course. Still, something inside me told me that he might be disappointed of me, and I hated myself for thinking that, and I almost hated him for giving me reasons to think that. I was starting to feel that intensity in emotions that everybody talked about regarding vampires. Damon snapped me out of my haze.

"Elena, it will be alright, I promised you, I will leave the two of you alone."

I looked at him puzzled; what was he talking about? He misread my reaction; he thought I was worried about him and Stefan. He wanted to leave, to leave us and that was unconceivable.

"No, Damon, you promised that you won't leave me, twice, the last time tonight."

"But you said you are letting me go."

He got me there, he was right, merely hours ago I told him I was choosing Stefan and setting him free. I couldn't explain it, I was not able to find a logical argument to make myself clear, because nothing was clear for me, I felt inside me a ball of tangled emotions. So I did the best next thing, as I learned in the last few hours, I let myself surrender to the naked, primal truth and I blurted it out, without concerns for wrong or right, or common sense for that matter:

"I did let you go, but I didn't meant outside the town."

It was silly and childish and cruel. Yes it was cruel, the worst kind of cruel, but it was all the truth I had in that instant, so I said it. I waited for Damon's anger, for his perplexed look but all the answer I received was a very powerful laughter.

"Oh, Elena, I wouldn't dare leave the city you reside in. It's too much fun around you. Now let's get you back to the boardinghouse, you will have a few difficult days ahead of you so you better have a good night sleep at least. And I should go meet Bonnie and ask her to do a magic ring. You know so you could enjoy your more daily activities, like barbecuing, just not yourself."

"No Damon, I want to sleep in my own room tonight, please. I need a connection with my human life."

"Sweetheart, it's not safe, Jeremy is there."

He noticed my hurt expression and continued. "Wait, no big deal, I have an idea, I will bring Jeremy along with me to Bonnie, and then he will sleep in the boardinghouse, and I will call Stefan to come and stay with you. It's quite easy, everything is once you made the right decision, you see?"

I smiled "I did, didn't I?"

"Of course you did, this that means that you won't hate me for centuries to come?"

"I thought we established that earlier, Damon, once I didn't jumped to your throat after you fed me Jeremy's blood, dick move by the way, feeding my own brother to me."

"Hahaha, watch the vocabulary young lady, just because you're a monster now it doesn't mean you should talk like one. And by the way, Jeremy was never in any danger, I had it all under control, and you must admit it, it turn out quite poetic, your family connection revived even in the undead life."

"You're stretching it Damon, let's go home, I'm quite tired."

"Your wish is my command."

"It would be a first."

"When your wish is the right one it's always my command."

**Author Note: **Seeing as this is my first fan fiction ever and my very first fiction in English, I would love it if you would be kind enough to give me some feedback via reviews so that I can use the criticism to improve. Thank you very much for reading and I promise to keep the updates flowing.


	2. I didn't knew that about me

**Disclaimer: I do not own TVD or any of the characters, they belong to their rightful owners. This is wrote for non-profit purposes only.**

I lied in my bed waiting. Actually trying to wait, because I was so tired. The house was empty, and I heard the silence more loudly than ever before. Maybe because of my new senses as a vampire, maybe because I felt alone. I struggled to resist the escape that sleep would have offered because Stefan was on his way as Damon promised. This horrendous day, life changing day, emotionally charged day, was not yet over. I asked Damon not to tell anything to Stefan, to just tell him to come to me. It was a conversation I dreaded. Will he still love me as a vampire? Something inside me wondered if Stefan's love for me wasn't bound to his nostalgia for the humanity he lost. His yearning for a human life was somehow satisfied by me and my human life, my human love. How will his feelings change now that I was no longer a human? And for that matter how will mine change? They were just too many questions, too many fears to deal with amidst the horror of the day. So, because my head threaten to explode I decided to keep it simple, to stick with the most basic reactions, to hold tight to the truth of my emotions. This strategy of opting for simplicity was slowly turning out to be a trend of my after life. It was quite strange, because as a human I tended to complicate everything.

Soon enough Stefan was in the room, tortured expression and everything. I approached him without a hurry, kissing him ever so gently. As I stepped back from his face I noticed without a doubt that he realized I made the transition. Maybe I reeked of human blood? Maybe his love for me was just so big that he was aware of every little molecule in me? He looked at me with a mix of sadness, anger and something that could only be called apologetic.

"Damon? It was him wasn't he? I should have been more careful, oh God, Elena, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry." He almost cried his apologies.

"Yes, he helped, but I wanted it Stefan, I didn't want to die and he made me realized it." I said bluntly, eager to terminate all confusions. After all this was my choice even if I didn't choose it myself, paradoxical as it sounds. It was my choice because it was true too my most profound desire.

Stefan lost his words, he looked at me absolutely perplexed, like he suddenly realized he didn't knew anything, he didn't knew me. This was what I feared.

"Now what? Do you hate me for it?" I asked with a shaking voice.

My question made him react, he shuddered under the accusation

"How can you ask me something like that? I could never hate you, no matter what, even more so for you making the choice to turn. For this I could be only ecstatic and grateful and oh so much more. Loosing you is the worst thing I can imagine, no, it's the worst thing I lived through, because today I lived through it. I love you so much Elena, you have no idea. How could I hate you for this? For saving me from this nightmare?"

"But you look sad, disappointed, Stefan, you really do, and I can understand if you were disappointed in me for not sticking with my conviction." I said matter of a fact trying to decipher more.

"Stop it Elena, I am sad, disappointed, even angered, but not with you. With me. I was so sure that you didn't want to turn, that I didn't even try to convince you, I was so sure that I was respecting your decision that I practically give up on you, and you went along with it, maybe from fear to let me down, to not live up to some stupid standards you think I imposed on you. Don't you see it? If it wasn't for Damon, for his stubbornness, for his love, you would have died. I'm not sad I fricking despise myself, Elena."

My heart ache, I felt his pain so strong that it was basically my pain. I wondered for a moment if that was my enhanced trait as a vampire. As a human I was always able to put myself in other's people shoes, what if now that was amplified? Still, something inside me told me, that this was not my trademark. I reached Stefan, holding him in a tight embrace, I kissed his forehead, his cheeks, his lips.

"Don't you dare blaming yourself for letting me make my own decisions. It doesn't make your love any weaker. I had enough of sorrow and turmoil for one day. I love you Stefan, and here we are, both of us, alive, standing. It must be enough."

"It is. I love you Elena."

That night we slept in each others arms for the first time in almost a year. It felt familiar and cozy. But right before I drifted into oblivion I had two distinctive flashes of memories I didn't knew I had. Both of them were with Damon. The first was on the night of the bonfire, the night my parents died, the second was in my room after my first encounter with Elijah. Both memories shake me to my very core. I realized fast those were moments he compelled me to forget. I was too tired to think of the significance of it all, but I wasn't too tired to feel the significance of it. Before I felt asleep I was sure of only one thing, no one in this world, dead or alive, should preach to Damon about what love is all about. No one had the right

* * *

Moments before the night would fade away into the light of the day, Caroline was heading towards the old Lockwood cellar. She spent the night into the woods crying over her loss, she was still inconsolable. Now she prepared herself for holding her dead lover one last time in her arms. And after that she was supposed to burry him herself so that his mother never find out about his tragic demise. Vampire or not, it was not a normal activity for a teenage girl and Caroline was on the verge of a breakdown. Entering the old crypt the blonde was stunned to find no evidence of Tyler. He couldn't just vanish, she witnessed the death of Sage and that other vampire, there were remains, they didn't just puff into thin air.

She was wandering through the woods trying to figure her next move. She should consult with Damon and Stefan. She was just fighting the bloom of hope, because she didn't afford to dream that somehow Tyler was still alive, when out of nowhere he appeared. He was without a doubt her Tyler, right there, alive and well. The relief, the joy, the pure rapture overwhelmed her. She ran into his arms, kissing him, consuming him, feeling him more than ever before. His response was at least equally strong; it was like the first time they surrendered to the attraction between them, only better.

"I thought I lost you forever."

"You only just found me my dear".

It sounded cryptic and so unlike Tyler but due to the elation of the moment Caroline didn't pay much attention, instead she abandoned herself in his touches, in his kisses which, maybe because of the near death experience, were so much more passionate. They hit the grass in a struggle of dominance but right then Caroline's phone rang. Disheveled, she responded. It was Damon giving her the bad news. Tears began to drop on Caroline's face.

"Matt is alright?" she asked with fear.

"Yup, golden boy is just fine and dandy due to Elena's self sacrificing flaw. But right now Blondie you need to go to Elena and bring her some blood and you know maybe praise her a little bit the life of a vampire teenager."

"I'm on my way." Caroline concluded hanging the phone.

She faced Tyler "I know we should leave town right away to escape the Council but I can't leave Elena just now. I can help her through this; she helped me when I first turned, if it wasn't for her and Stefan now I would have been dead or a crazed vampire."

Tyler smiled "Go ahead, be with your friend darling, we don't need to run from the Council. As fun as running away with you might be, I think it will be even more entertaining to fight them."

Caroline was mystified "What changed your mind? You were set on leaving. I don't think it's a smart idea to fight them Tyler. We may not succeed and even if we would at what costs will our victory be assured?"

"Hey, stop worrying, facing death gives you a bust of adrenaline, an eagerness to fight, to survive, I know you know what I mean, Caroline, I know you have it in you. Follow my lead and you'll see, it will all turn out just fine."

To say she was confused was the understatement of the century, but she didn't have time for more inquires.

"I must go to Elena but we're not done talking about this Tyler. I don't want a bloodbath and I'm sure you don't want it either."

She kissed him on the cheek and left to her friend.

* * *

I was sitting in my kitchen, with Caroline, sipping from a cup of blood. Actually the sipping part lasted barely a second or so because soon enough I started engulfing the liquid. It was overwhelming even if it didn't come straight from the source. Some of it was dripping onto my chin, I couldn't have cared less. When I finished my cup my mind was in such a state that I wasn't able to recognize the surroundings, my insides yelling for more.

"It's alright Elena, it will get better. You can drink some more later. You'll be fine." Caroline noticed my distress and tried to give support.

I raised my hand and touched the skin under my eyes; veins were protruding reminding me of what I was now. I wanted to cry, to revolt myself but it was useless, so I cleaned myself up with a napkin and sighed.

"I hope it will get better Care, I honestly do. After all you are doing just fine."

"Yup, I'm very well adjusted thank you very much, and I save a bunch on moisturizers and stuff like that."

We laughed like crazy releasing some of the tension.

"Care, I wanted to ask you something about the time you turned."

"Sure, shoot, I could easily be your afterlife coach" she replied sarcastically.

"Well, how did you remember your compulsions? It was all at once? It was right away?"

"The memories came back pretty much at once, but it wasn't right away, after a few hours or so. It was all very confusing. But they helped me realize what was happening to me, oh, and they helped me hate Damon even more." She chuckled, but I knew she meant it.

Well, they had the opposite effect on me, but I didn't want to say anything. Like that could fly with Caroline; she questioned me right away.

"Why are you asking? Did you remember compulsions? Did someone compelled you Elena? How could that be, you were wearing vervain all the time." she was obviously concerned, but I didn't want to open that particularly Pandora's Box so I lied.

"No, just that one time with Elijah, when he took away my necklace, and now I remembered him getting information out of me. It was a strange feeling recalling something I didn't knew happened. That's all."

"Oh, alright then. It's not fun to be compelled, trust me, but it is quite fun compelling, you will see."

"I hope not. I don't want to go there. It goes against everything I stand for."

"Well, Elena, it kinda is what you are now."

I immediately felt remorse, I realized I sounded judgmental and I didn't have any right to be. So I tried to repair my faux pas.

"You're right Care, it just take time to get accustomed."

"Of course it does honey, you will get there. I wasn't trying to push you or anything, I was just pointing out that there are benefits too."

* * *

"Well, if it isn't the witch gone rouged. You sure took your time." Tyler said a little bit annoyed.

"I had stuff to do; because of your sister Elena is now a vampire" Bonnie snarled back "So excuse me if I didn't run back to you".

"Oh, feisty aren't you, that's the bonus of using magic to unbalance the nature, it gives you fire and sparks."

"Stop with the attitude Klaus, you're in no position to antagonize me." The girl replied curtly.

"Oh, you're still no fun. Anyway, we should get back to business, as fun as this was, and trust me it was fun, I would like to go back in my body now."

"Such a good idea, Klaus, is all I want too." the teenager said with a mischievous smile.

"Right, you see, I was not born yesterday, so the fact that you are sounding so eager makes me believe you're heart is not in the right place. You don't want to go against me you little witch, black magic or not, trust me."

"I think that's exactly what I want to do so I'm going to put you back into your body and you will go on to desiccate for millenniums to come. You will not die for good, so my mother and my friends will be just fine" Bonnie said before starting to chant.

Klaus started to feel dizzy right away, but he still had a second to retaliate so without pondering he bolted to Bonnie's neck tearing her flesh with his teeth, sucking the life out of her. When he began feeling better, more steady he left leaving behind an almost drained Bonnie, on the verge of death.

Lying there in the woods, soaking in her own blood, Bonnie knew she was going to die; it was no way around it. But she couldn't resign to the idea, it felt just too unfair. All she tried to do since she embraced her powers was to preserve the life of the innocents, to protect them, and now she was dying? She didn't do anything do deserve it. She became angry, enraged even, and fueled with these emotions she decided to protect herself for once. So she gathered all her strength and tied herself to the force of life of one of the girls from their high school. It was one of the few girls with whom she barely spoken through the years. It was easier this way. Once she felt the connection, she began sucking, stealing her life, until she started feeling better, until her wounds started healing themselves. After a few minutes she was perfectly fine but she knew with absolute certainty that that other girl was not, that in fact was dead. She couldn't think of it, she done what she had to, she won't think of it, for now at least.

* * *

I heard something from outside, footsteps I recognized, it was quite weird. I became alert and that didn't go under Caroline's radar.

"You're hearing Damon, his approaching the house, you will get used to it, it's quite handy." Caroline explained.

"I've always knew you guys had super hearing and all of this stuff, but it is so much more than I could have imagined. I mean even knowing before can't prepare you for the moment you feel it for yourself."

Caroline nodded as Damon entered the kitchen.

"Hello, how are my two favorite dead ladies?"

"Yuck, you're so, you're so….yuck." Caroline replied annoyed

"I see you've got quite an extended vocabulary, at least you can console yourself with the fact that you could repeat high school for ever, in a loop."

"Hey, both of you play nice." I tried to defuse the tension.

"And where's the fun in that Elena? Anyway I come bearing gifts. You can lift those curtains and enjoy the summer sun 'cause I have an enchanted ring for you." And with that he reached for my hand and put onto my finger one of the most beautiful rings I ever saw.

"So, I never thought I'll put a ring on your finger before Stefan." He said trying to be funny.

We both chuckled but not wholeheartedly, actually there was plenty of bitterness behind our laughter. We stopped and looked at each other with such intensity that the background faded leaving us in a small bubble built out of unspoken feelings, unacted desires, and from my part, out of quite recent revelations. Because now, watching him I could not stop from remembering him in my room, confessing his love and selfless giving up fighting for his chance, for my benefit. I couldn't shake the feeling that that right there was proof enough of how Damon Salvatore could love. It was painfully obvious that if it wouldn't have been for his impending death he would have never told me he loved me. And it was as obvious that if Stefan wouldn't have gone MIA with Klaus proving that maybe all wasn't well in paradise, Damon would have never tried to win me over. His mistake was that he allowed himself to think that maybe it was hope after all. Well, I made sure to make him pay for that naivety. The bubble cracked once Caroline spoke.

"Guys, I have something to tell you. I know is not the best of times, but you know trouble enjoys company, or was it misery?"

"Oh, God, Blondie, spare yourself the aneurism and spread the good news"

"The Council found out about me and Tyler, and we are kinda their targets now. We decided to skip town to save ourselves, but then Klaus died and we thought Tyler was dying too, and then Elena…and now…now Tyler wants to fight them."

I was petrified, we couldn't catch a break. I looked to Damon for reassurance, hoping that it wasn't as bad as I imagined it. But he didn't have time to mask his concerns.

"This isn't good, this isn't good at all. Elena is just a baby vampire now basically. She doesn't need an angry mob on her trail."

"But they don't know about her, or Stefan and you" Caroline tried to reassure him

"It's just a matter of time, Blondie, just a matter of time. You know skipping town is not such a bad idea." That last statement he said looking right into my eyes.

"No, that's not an option, I don't want to run." I said sounding a little bit like a spoiled child. I was aware of it but the need to act accordingly to my desires was too big. I blamed it on the vampire I now was.

"Give me a break Elena with this mantra you have, _I don't want to run, I don't want to run._ It's getting old. Sometimes the best thing a person could do is run."

"But I can't just leave. We can't just leave." I tried to reason with Damon.

"Of course we can, there is nothing to keep us here, remember, none of us is human anymore, it's not like you need to finish high school right away, or that you need to save appearances for your family."

"Yes, because I don't have a family anymore." I said briskly. I knew Damon didn't wished to be insensitive, that he was just trying to be reasonable, but I was too hurt to hide it for his benefit.

He immediately felt remorse. I saw it in his eyes, in the way his jaw clenched and then I heard it in his voice. He came next to me and cupped my face into his palms.

"Elena I'm sorry, I was a jerk. It's just that you need to realize that this is a whole new chapter in your existence, and things that matter before doesn't anymore; and you can't jeopardize your safety for a mirage"

"I know Damon, it's all I've heard this past few hours. But I feel like I'm loosing all my roots. It's so hard."

Caroline coughed slightly to catch our attention.

"I think you can take some time to make a decision, but Tyler and I should act quickly."

"We would come with a plan before the night falls, until then you and lover boy should keep low. Listen to me, Blondie, don't run anywhere yet, we have more chances if we stick together."

She nodded in approval and then she embraced me and she left Damon and I alone.

I was not prepared for the electricity, the tension between the two of us now that we were completely alone. I didn't had time to think about the compulsions I remembered, nor did I had time to think about what Damon offered me last night; life. But most of all I was not prepared to deal with this new intensity of my desire for this man. When I was human I could bottle up my yearnings, it was second nature to me. The guilt I felt was enough to keep me from acting on those needs. But now they were bigger than life. I struggled to fight them for Damon's sake. It most certainly would have not been fair to give him mix signals after everything I put him through by choosing Stefan once again. I told myself over and over again that it was all hormonal, and somehow I managed not to jump him right there in my kitchen and kiss him senseless. Instead I was polite and lady like and said to him "Damon, I want to thank you for last night, for pushing me to go with it."

"You're most definitely welcomed Elena. I even might say it was my pleasure. But once again you're going to need to trust me when I tell you that we should leave town. We'll pack your baby bro, my baby bro, Blondie and wolfie boy, heck we can even throw in witchie and golden boy just for the fun of it and we'll have our little merry caravan."

I felt the tears threatening to spill; I was in such an emotional carousel it was making me nauseated.

"It would be fun Elena, it would be an adventure. You would love an adventure."

That right there made me lose focus, drifting from what was at stake now and losing myself in the land of "what if." Damon told me the first time he met me that I wanted adventure in my life. And right then, when I was a typical teenager who had problems with her boyfriend I believed him. Indeed, back then I knew that that was what I wanted. But since then I had adventures upon adventures. And almost none of them were fun, quite the opposite. So, naturally, I shielded myself from the pursuit of adventure seeking stability, routine, and normalcy. I thought that those things defined me. Truth be said, I acted out of fear. Because of all my losses, because of all the danger that surrounded me at every step I sought a more tranquil pace; but that was not me, not deep down. I used to love the idea of a life full of adventures. As a teenager I spend plenty of time day dreaming about action packed scenarios, passionate love, exotic traveling and so on. Maybe it was time to remember that not each adventure meant death or tragedy; that some of them were worth experiencing.

"What? What are you thinking about Elena?"

"I remembered something you once told me and I think you are right, I might love an adventure."

My words startled Damon, and I saw the precise moment when he realized I remembered his compulsion. Maybe because of all the drama we both went through last night he didn't figure out sooner that I was going to remember. Now he knew I knew. But apart from the initial shock he didn't said anything else. Probably he thought it was pointless to dwell into the past now that I made my choice; that I chose Stefan. Probably he couldn't deal with more hurt for the time being. I wasn't braver. I said nothing. I shamelessly changed the subject.

"How's Jeremy, Damon? I can't even imagine what he is going through."

"He's fine. He's at the boardinghouse. You will see him soon enough, you seem to be handling quite fine this new stage of your life."

"I don't know Damon, I honestly don't know, every time I drank blood last night, this morning, I felt so out of control, like I couldn't stop. And my emotions are all over the place, I can't resist the most basic urges. For instance just before when I didn't even considered the possibility of leaving town. I knew I was absurd, I knew that meant risking other people safety. But it was what I needed so I went with it like a spoiled child. That is not like me, Damon."

"You're doing very well Elena; it hasn't even been one day for crying out loud. Stop tormenting yourself, stop with all the self judgment. You're not going for a prize in the perfect human-vampire transition competition, you're only supposed to adapt and survive, step by step."

"You're right, I'm being mopey, I don't want to be mopey." I said putting on a brave face. Actually I was quite tired of feeling bad for myself.

* * *

Bonnie spent the rest of the morning hours in her room in what could only be called a catatonic state. Not a single thought run through her mind, maybe it was a defense mechanism, maybe it was the beginning of something more dangerous. The knocking at the door went ignored but when it grew louder it eventually brought her to reality. Or at least someone resembling Bonnie was brought to reality, because this girl was severely damaged, and definitely in denial. She went to answer the door and found a very distressed Caroline; Bonnie assumed it was due to Elena's death, to her transition. Unfortunately, soon enough she learned this was not the case. As Caroline informed her about the other events of the previous day, about the Council, Tyler's and her plans to run, about Tyler's change of heart, Bonnie became more and more concerned. She realized she completely disregarded the implications of Klaus being in Tyler's body; what that would mean for Caroline. To be fair, she also thought it was only a temporary solution, actually she still hoped that she will be able to fix it sooner than later. And the Council development it was just a bonus nuisance; she had had enough of it.

"Caroline, I need to tell you something, I don't know how to say it. First of all, you need to know that I didn't had a choice, we were cornered; you all would have died. Second, you must trust me when I tell you I'm going to undone it."

"Bonnie you're fricking me out, what happened?"

"I needed to protect Klaus in order to protect all of you and my mother so I used magic to put him in Tyler's body."

"What the hell are you saying Bonnie? Tyler's dead? You killed Tyler?" Caroline was beginning to sound hysterical.

"No, no, I would never…" Bonnie dropped her sentence, because she now knew that in fact she would, that actually she did kill an innocent, only not Tyler. She regained composure and carried on "I didn't kill Tyler. He is very much alive, only not quite awake. I planned to bring Klaus back in his body once there was no longer a danger that Alaric would kill him for good. That way Klaus would desiccate and the rest of us would have been out of harms way."

"So? You say you planned this but then what's the problem, you sound like it is a problem." Caroline was starting to get impatient, her nerves getting the best of her.

"Well, I didn't exactly factor in Klaus's desire to cling to life and I overestimated my magic, actually my speed in magic. As I began chanting he attacked me, I nearly died."

"Oh my God Bonnie. Are you alright? You seem alright. I'm confused."

Bonnie realized she cornered herself, she couldn't tell the truth to Caroline. Honestly, she didn't believe that she would survive if she would to enunciate that horrid truth.

"I'm fine; right before leaving Klaus feed me his blood. I think he was trying to make sure that I didn't die and with me losing his chance of ever going back into his body. But I didn't recover soon enough to try to catch him."

"At least you're alive. At least Tyler is alive also. You saved us all so I'm very grateful Bonnie. But what now?"

"Now we will find a way to capture Tyler/Klaus, it shouldn't be so difficult since he has only Tyler's strength and from there on the plan is basically the same as before."

Caroline sighed; and as she began thinking at the twists of day she suddenly bolted out of the kitchen's chair, turning absolutely red.

"No way, no way in hell." She practically screamed.

"What is it Care? You're scarring me."

"He kissed me, he manhandled me, he was about to…that psychotic son of a…no way in hell. I was about to run with him because of the Council. My God. I would have run with Klaus."

"I'm sorry Caroline, I should have told you earlier, but it all went so fast that I didn't had time to bring you up to date, and I didn't thought about the ramifications."

"Doesn't matter anymore, he will pay his dues rotting for the next centuries. But we need to move fast because we need to go out of the city."

"No you don't, I won't allow it. We fought too much the past years that now, when we are actually seeing the finish line you should be forced to go."

"But what can we do, Bonn? Even Damon suggested it was the best way, and you know he is an impulsive prick who wouldn't back down from a fight."

"I'll handle it. Magic can be handy you know. Compulsion can't work because they all use vervain, but they aren't using anything against magic. So a little hocus-pocus and they will forget anything about you and Tyler." Bonnie said with a knowing smile.

"You would do that for us, for me Bonn? You would play with those people minds?"

"We've done worse, I've done worse." She replied, her words dipped in terror.

**A.N.: **Hope you enjoyed this chapter. Don't forget, I would very much appreciate feedback.


	3. Thinking back

**Disclaimer: I do not own TVD or any of the characters, they belong to their rightful owners. This is wrote for non-profit purposes only.**

I was pacing through my room getting more and more impatient. I didn't know exactly why. Actually I didn't have a place where I needed to be, nothing that I needed to do. It was just a strange feeling of captivity. Stefan came right before Damon left, like they were synchronized. Who am I kidding? They were synchronized. I spent the rest of my day with Stefan drinking almost blood bag after blood bag and talking about nothing in particular. Small talk. I did a shower. I spent quite plenty of time in front of my mirror, watching my unnatural teeth, watching my veins. But now, after hours, I felt like a prisoner. I was not stupid; I knew it was in my best interest, not to say in Mystic Falls folks best interest, to stay in the perimeter of my own house. Nevertheless I found that the impulse to run wild was hard to resist. Stefan was fast to notice my state of mind.

"It's normal Elena to feel the need to go out and explore, it comes with the territory, after all we are at our core a predatory specie."

"Well I'm not going to let myself be define by my specie." As I said those words I realized the absurdity that laid in them. One's specie in the end defines an individual doesn't it?

"And you shouldn't" Stefan hurried to approve "that's why despite your desire to go out, to give in into temptation, you're staying here."

I smiled, slightly annoyed, but still a smile. He was as sweet as in the old days; I missed him, my Stefan, reliable, and kind. And because he was all those things he offered me space so he went downstairs, he even pretended to watch some television, even though I knew his focus was all on me.

Being by myself for the first time since I turned I realized that there were many things that I postponed thinking about. Things like what I've learned about me in that brief second when life and death were melting into each other, that basically all I wanted was to live and love. That my morality was not that rooted. What that said about me? Another thing that might have required my attention was that I discovered that I actually yearned for thrill and excitement but I was just too afraid for seeking them out. But most of all I needed to figure out what and if my memories of Damon's compulsion meant something for me?

I decided to focus on that last one, merely because it haunted me, because it was in the background of my mind since I remembered. The "if" part was fairly easy. It definitely had an impact on me. Seeing that part of Damon, a part I knew of, but not to such extent, touched me; made me questioning my previous judgments about him. Of course I knew he made horrendous things, things I learned to overcome. But even back then, in a time when I wasn't ready to forgive him for them, he was able to do the noblest act and to not even parade with it. And what I was feeling back then when he confessed his love to me was hard to avoid. I felt pain for his pain but I also felt the need to correct him, to tell him that he was by no mean the lesser brother, the wrong choice. This was what I wanted to say even back then when all of Stefan's faults were uncovered, when most of Damon's qualities were still deep buried. I knew that if I had the time to speak I probably wouldn't have said it, but the need to say it was there nevertheless. Maybe I was a coward.

So it matter, what Damon did back then mattered to me. But what did it meant in the evolution of things? It would have made my choice different? This was a question I couldn't answer. When I was forced to make a decision, I chose Stefan once again; because it was a choice I was comfortable with, a choice I made before. Because I loved him of course, but most of all because I knew what that meant, choosing Stefan, on the other hand choosing Damon would have been like playing Russian roulette.

I was starting to feel sick; all this thoughts were troubling me. All that was left was a bothersome question: "Did I actually loved Damon?" My head started to pound, I felt anger and frustration boiling inside me, and without noticed I felt my teeth protruding. I was enraged because I couldn't find the answer or couldn't accept it for that matter. I saw for an instant my reflection in the mirror. The vampire I was. And watching me made me despise myself, because I was a monster, because I couldn't answer a simple, basic question, because I needed too, because I played with their feelings, because I was no better than Katherine was. The mirror shattered against my fists, leaving glass all over the floor and blood all over my hands. I looked mesmerized at my wounds healing as Stefan entered the room.

He looked at me scared.

"What's wrong Elena?"

I took a few deep breaths trying to calm myself, and sure enough the teeth were gone, my veins back to normal.

"Nothing much, a little bit of vampire tantrum, you know how it is Stefan." I answered so not like me but I didn't have it in me to act, I was one step away from a full breakdown.

He approached me slowly like he was trying not to spook me, like I was some kind of wild animal, which maybe for the time being I was, and he embraced me tightly, bringing my head to his shoulder. It was meant to be soothing and sweet, but all I felt was once again captivity.

* * *

Caroline sneaked into her room, feeling like an intruder. That was not right at all. She honestly hoped that Bonnie's magic will take care of the Council situation because this was just insane. The second she put her foot into the room she sensed something was not right; she was not alone. Even before she saw him she knew who waited for her. Klaus. She managed to think quickly, to not react instinctively and scream. If they were to have a chance at catching Klaus and bringing back Tyler she needed to outsmart him, to play along like she didn't knew who he actually was.

Klaus run his arm around her and kissed her with fire. The blonde tried to fight two simultaneously instincts: one, the urge to push him and slap his face and the second, the desire to pull him closer, to lose herself in the kiss. It was enough to make her sick.

"My dear, I think you were right, no one desires a blood bath, we should go away right now."

Caroline shuddered, now was the time to play it cool. She didn't want to risk a fight just between the two of them. Even though Klaus as Tyler was not invincible she was determined to have all the odds in her favor, so she tried to fool him.

"I'm so glad you came to your senses, it would be stupid to fight the Council. We will leave right away but first we need to go to the boardinghouse and meet with Damon."

"And why is that?" Klaus sounded suspicious.

"I told him all about the Council and that we need to leave and he agreed to help us with some stuff that will make our journey easier, money, a list of contacts of humans and non-humans, papers. You know handy things for fugitives." She was sure she sounded believable.

Klaus looked at her carefully, he proud himself on figuring out when he was being fooled and now he was. He was sure that the witch being dead no one knew about him possessing Tyler's body. Maybe that little Sabrina told someone before she died, maybe she wasn't dead after all, or maybe Caroline just saw right through him. Who knew? One thing was clear, that Caroline was trying to set him up. He needed to run, he was too weak as Tyler to fight all of them. He needed to run, to find a crafty witch and to restore his body, his strength, his invincibility. So he jumped at Caroline pushing her into the wall, he immobilized her and slowly he pressed his lips onto her ear whispering softly, almost like a lover saying sweet nothings.

"You got me darling, I'm not your high school crush. I'm your big bad, master of the world crush. But as fun as this had been, and it was, I won't stay around for you to sort out your feelings, to decide if you want me dead or you just want me. So, buh-bye."

As he was ready to make his escape through the window Caroline bolted upon him fighting him to the ground.

"You're not leaving anywhere, not with my boyfriend's body." She almost snarled the words.

The struggle was intense; the two of them being equally strong, still, Caroline got the upper hand more often because of the fuel that was her rage. But because Klaus had century of fights under his belt he knew a few tricks that set the balance in his favor. So, in the end, Klaus pinned under him Caroline and hissed under his breath.

"You forget one thing little one, I might be slightly less threatening in your sweetheart's body, but I'm still a hybrid and my bite would still kill you. Even more so without my real blood to heal you again."

As he said those words he went for Caroline's neck ready to bite; the blonde shivered with fear. But as his mouth closed the distance between the two of them the bite of death didn't come. Instead Caroline felt a small, seductive lick on her cold skin followed by the slightest, most tender kiss she ever felt.

"Until our paths cross again."

And with that he was gone, leaving Caroline to deal with a tangle of emotions.

**Author Note:** I want to thank you for reading my story so far and most of all to thank tinychef, cdaye8184,Delenaluver and ailuj14 for taking their time to review it. Next chapter will be up very soon.


	4. Giving in

**Disclaimer: I do not own TVD or any of the characters, they belong to their rightful owners. This is wrote for non-profit purposes only.**

Three days had passed since I became a vampire. Three days that I spent cooked up in my room. There were bad news and good news to deal with. In the plus column we had Bonnie, who was able somehow to harvest enough magic so that the members of the Council were practically brainwashed; no recollection whatsoever about Tyler, Caroline or even Klaus. But on the minus column we had the whole Klaus/Tyler situation. Klaus was nowhere to be found and with him obviously Tyler was MIA also. We didn't have a plan for this. We didn't even know what his retaliation might be.

As for me, I was still a mess. Still, everybody seemed to think that I was managing the situation quite well. In fact, that evening I was allowed to see Jeremy and even Bonnie under close supervision; Damon, Stefan and even Caroline were there just in case. It was not the happiest of the reunion, I was odd, trying to maintain control. It was not an easy task, having the two humans there escalated my hunger; hunger that, I might add, was insatiable; I have emptied more blood bags that I cared to count. But I was not the only one acting weird, Bonnie was definitely not herself. I imagined it was because of the all Klaus/Tyler thing, she was still trying to figure out a way to restore the spell without Klaus presence.

After my friends and brother left I remained with Damon and Stefan and it was, as I would have suspected, awkward as hell. Since the day of my transition, which coincided with the day I chose Stefan, the three of us were never under the same roof for more than a few seconds; just time enough for them to swap in babysitting me.

"Well, that went well, no blood spilled is a victory in my book." Damon said breaking the tense silence.

"Yeah, I guess it did." I admitted reluctantly.

"Elena, you're doing just fine, trust me." Stefan said while approaching me. He tried to wrap his arms around my shoulders, but I avoided his touch. It didn't feel right to parade our relationship in front of Damon; I already hurt him so much, that I couldn't bear the thought of doing something else that would wound him. Even though I was moving more quickly, due to my vampirism, my avoidance clearly didn't go unnoticed by the brothers.

"Praises and all for your control but now it's the time to talk about level two in this game we could call tame your inner vampire." Damon said all business like.

"What are you talking about? What level two?" I was confused.

"You're doing well with the blood bags, you're learning restraint while there are humans around, but nothing compares with the real deal. You need to self discipline yourself while drinking from humans. And for that, well, you need to drink from humans."

My jaw literally dropped, my mouth was open but not because I was about to say something, actually I couldn't think of a single thing to say. But Stefan did.

"Are you insane Damon? That's what we are trying to avoid by getting her used to the blood bags. And now you are saying that she should drink from humans?"

"Hmm, insane? No, I think it's quite rational. If she wants a chance at normalcy she must deal with what she is. She must drink straight from the source so that her bottle up urges don't come rushing over her, like, might I add, came over you, brother."

"But what if she hurts somebody? What if she kills somebody? Don't you get what that would do to her?" Stefan continued arguing in my behalf while I was still unable to gather myself.

"That's the point Stefan, she will more likely kill somebody if she keeps on with the blood bags. It's a matter of time before she slips and then if she isn't prepared to resist temptation, to practice moderation, her victim won't have a chance. Now, do you get it?"

"No, I think is a dangerous, unnecessary thing."

Finally I stepped in trying to make myself very clear.

"Damon, I can understand your reasoning, but I won't do it. You all say I'm doing so well, but trust me, I feel like I barely cope as it is, I'm feeling like I'm walking on a thread . I can't do it."

"All the more reason to do it, Elena, believe me, only this way you are going to be in charge instead of your urges. I'll be there and I will help you stop, it's better this way." His voice was smoother than before but his words were still scaring the heck out of me.

"No, Damon, and that's my final answer. Maybe later, in a year or so. Please don't push it, I don't have any strength left to fight."

Maybe the exhaustion in my voice, maybe the sadness that filled my eyes, made him stop. He went back to the boardinghouse. Once again Stefan and I remained alone.

* * *

Bonnie was sure that she was going to lose her mind. She kept hearing voices, telling her to do the craziest of things, but mainly to tap deep into black magic. She tried to calm herself once she realized who those voices actually belonged too. They were of the witches that embraced black magic and that now were dead. In the second she began using it herself, it was like a portal opened. She was being used by those crazy dead witches like a vessel.

Alright, so she wasn't completely nuts, but that offered little comfort. It was getting harder and harder to resist those voices especially since they told her things that really appealed to her. They were offering her a chance to break the connection between the Originals and the next generations of vampires. That would mean the opportunity to kill the Originals for good without risking her mother and friends life. As tempting as this was she needed to be strong, to hold her own, because using that much black magic would be a one way street.

* * *

Stefan caressed my face gently.

"You're being very anxious, Elena" he told me. I fought the impulse to say "duh".

"Maybe I could help with that" he continued smiling softly as his caresses went down my shoulders. His lips followed the trail of his hands, depositing soft, tender kisses on my neck.

So he offered a distraction from my nerves. To be honest this vampire thing brought with it in the past days a lot of carnal urges so maybe it was not a bad idea. But as his lips found my mouth and his kisses deepened it felt wrong. It was not the kind of touch I yearned for. As we laid into bed, our bodies entangled, he began to undress me. And all I could think was watching Damon in that hotel room. His bare chest, perfectly sculptured, his pensive eyes, he was so beautiful in that moment when he thought no one was watching. He was real. And then my mind was filled with the taste of his fervent kiss. My body recalled better his hands than it felt the hands that were now tracing small circles across my skin. All I could feel was Damon, all I could want was Damon. And then I screamed.

Stefan stopped suddenly, his eyes full of concern.

"What is it Elena? Did I do something wrong?" his voice sounded hoarse.

I jerked myself from under him moving in the opposite part of the bed and bringing the sheets around my body. I shook my head vigorously as to say that no, it was nothing wrong.

"No, it's okay, I just can't do it. It's too soon. I can't." I managed to say.

His eyes darkened confusion and hurt melting into disappointment.

"Shh, don't worry, we have plenty of time. Come on, Elena, let's go to sleep."

Despite my desire to put some distance between us I reluctantly laid next to him trying to fall asleep.

After a few minutes Stefan was out for this world, but I was wide awake. How could I have not been? My fantasies were still so real, were still so wrong. I felt more sexual than ever before and I longed for the relief that I knew Damon could have offered me. I tried to block the thoughts but it turned out that what was buried deep inside while I was human was surfacing now that I was a vampire. Eventually I came up with a mantra that I repeat it in a loop "it doesn't mean anything".

An hour had passed this way and it didn't do anything to relieve the tension, the desire. I began feeling once again captive, in this room, with the man sleeping next to me, so using my agility as a vampire I sneak up from the bed without waking Stefan. I climbed down the stairs very carefully and out I was.

I inhaled deep breaths hoping that the hard air of the night would bring clarity in my otherwise foggy head. It did little good. I headed towards the Grill unsure way it was my destination. Maybe I wanted to have a drink, maybe I needed to be around people, but maybe I thought that I may find him there. It could have been the latter, and that was frightening as hell.

The streets were empty; it was no wonder seeing that it was quite long into the night. I almost reached the bar when in front of me a man appeared. I didn't knew him, he seemed to be in his early 30's and he was most definitely under the influence of alcohol. I assumed he was passing through Mystic Falls and he also went to the Grill. I tried to avoid him, but he noticed me.

"Hey gorgeous, what are you doing all alone? Need company?" As he spoke I could smell the alcohol in his breath, but I could also smell his blood, sense his veins pulsating because of the excitement. It was unsettling, so I ignored him and passed by him quickly.

But he didn't give up, he turn around and grabbed my hand pulling me towards him. As he leant in to kiss me I used my entire force of which there was plenty to push him. He was projected into air and when he fell I heard his head cracking but most of all I smelled his blood as it began spreading across the pavement.

My mind went blank. I once had principles and rules I followed, in which I believed, that gave my world sense. I once was innocent and treasured the sanctity of life. I once thought that "mind over body" was the simplest of choice. I once looked at the impetuosity of impulses with disgust, certain that I would never be that weak. I was naïve. Right there, on the empty street, face to face with my attacker that suddenly became my victim, I was just primal.

I rushed to him, kneeling, and I began sucking the sweet liquid out of his wounds, when that was no longer enough I made fresh, new wounds on his neck, sucking and sucking. He was no longer a man, a human being with a life of his one; he was just my source of nourishment, of excitement, of thrill. I felt him slipping away, going more and more still in my arms but I couldn't stop, in fact I had no desire to stop, no incentive.

I was in my own bubble of rapture when strong arms pulled me away from my pray. I fought against them, but my fight ceased as I heard his voice.

"Elena, stop it, you're going to kill him." It was Damon. He was there, saving that man's life, saving me.

**Author Note**: Thank you for reading. Any advice or constructive criticism is very welcomed.


	5. I want

**Disclaimer: I do not own TVD or any of the characters, they belong to their rightful owners. This is wrote for non-profit purposes only.**

Damon carried me away putting some safe distance between me and the dying man; then he went back and gave him his own blood to heal and he compelled him to forget everything. Damon Salvatore - capable of causing havoc but even more capable of cleaning up my mess.

I looked from aside panting like crazy trying my hardest not to bolt towards them and finish my meal. A singular thought went through my mind – that I should feel remorse. But I wasn't. All I felt was hunger.

When the man went away, memories erased and all healed, Damon approached me with caution.

"Went for a late dinner my dear?" he tried to sound amused, but his voice was full with concern.

I said nothing, my breath still out of control, my composure disheveled to say at least; I felt the blood of that man dripping to my clothes, making them stick to my skin. I used my tongue to lick the few drops that were still close to my lips.

"You should try to be pickier with your food Elena, we can't have you eating all kind of junk, it's bad for your health" He gave another shoot at frivolous humor. It was obviously my state made him nervous, he wasn't sure how to help me calm down.

"Yeah, next time" I managed to say.

"Elena, listen to me, everything it's okay. You didn't kill that man. It was bound to happen. But he is alright and we will see that next time you will be in control." He sounded firm trying to convince me to see things his way.

And it would have worked, but I didn't need words to ease my conscience, because in those moments all that mattered to me were still my wants, my needs, my desires and the fact that I almost killed a man didn't sink in.

I stepped forward, closing the distance between Damon and I. And I looked closed into his eyes. I imagined I looked pretty terrifying as I was all covered in blood, with my inhales of air still uneven, with my pupils dilated from adrenaline, with my body slightly shivering. I was barely audible as I whispered.

"I wanted to kill him, Damon. I truly did. And I still do. I wanted his blood, I wanted his life."

He looked at me with pity, with love.

"I want his blood Damon, I want to run faster than the wind, I want to see places, I want to feel, I want…Damon, I want…" I stopped speaking as my lips crushed his. I kissed him with all my power, running my hands through his hair. I pressed my body to his, my shivering growing stronger. Tears dropped from my eyes touching his lips. I kissed away my tears from his lips; I kissed away that man's blood. Our kiss was blood and tears. It lasted forever, it didn't last enough.

He broke our kiss, he was trembling too. He turned his back to me staying like this for what seemed an eternity, but then he faced me again. I was shocked and ashamed by how frail he was looking, like right now I could have killed him with a single world. It came crushing on me – that I kept playing with his heart; and only then my conscience began to work again.

"I'm sorry, Damon, I'm so sorry." I said full of remorse, crying my eyes out, because barely hours ago I swore I wouldn't do anything to further hurt Damon.

"No, Elena, no need for apologies." He didn't sound upset, he sounded almost tired.

I approached him again, taking his hand into mine. I looked at him pleadingly as I continued.

"Oh, but there is. I didn't want to hurt you Damon. I didn't think. All I knew is that I wanted you. I wanted you Damon. I can't seem to resist any of my wants, especially you."

He half smiled while passing his free hand through my hair, arranging a strand.

"No worries, I won't hold against you an act of impulse. That would be hypocritical on my part, don't you think?"

"But…" I tried to add something, something important I think. Something along the ways of what was the significance of me wanting him. But I didn't have time as he put his finger on my lips reducing me to silence.

"It's okay. Don't get your saint complex all riled up because of it. The first feeds are always like this; the yearn for blood brings out other needs as well. Nature is making a foul out of all of us sometimes. It doesn't make you an awful person." He told me gently, but also like he had thought about this things a great deal.

As I was listening to him I realized his words held the type of tolerance that made his undying life bearable. I thought I was tolerant as well, as a human; after all I forgave people on a daily basis for all kind of outrageous acts. But more often than not that forgiveness came as a merciful act on my behalf rather than as a consequence of me actually understanding the other person's actions, the forces behind those actions.

"Yeah, I wished I had extended you the same understanding." I said softly.

"Are you kidding me, Elena? I don't deserve all the compassion you shown me. Now please, let us stop with all this cathartic bullshit. You're fine, I'm fine, your first pray is fine, we are fine."

I smiled grateful and I leaned in kissing him delicately on the cheek. I was not surprised to find my desire for him intact, but I was determined to keep it under control.

* * *

The brothers and I discussed about my slip; only the feeding part, the Damon part was kept under silence. And even though Stefan was still opposed to the idea of me learning to feed from humans in order to achieve self-control, I no longer was. I understood better Damon's point of view and I was convinced it was the only way to avoid the danger of killing some innocent person. So we instituted some sort of vampire training. Every other day Damon and I would go outside town for a few hours and feed. He would take care that I didn't hurt my pray, stopping me before doing any major damage, and he would teach me how to compel and all kind of neat tricks.

The first time we were about to leave in one of this weird, questionable, field trips, Stefan and I had a talk.

"Elena, I accept your decision, even though I think that this is avoidable. After all with a little bit of willpower you could go on only on blood bags."

"Yeah, I thought that too, until I nearly drained a man. You see Stefan, it's not about sustenance, it's about me taking charge." I said more aggravated than I wanted.

"You might be right. Maybe it is the wise thing to do. I don't know anymore, but most of all I'm actually in no position to give advice. After all, with my track record who am I to say what's healthy and what's not?" his voice was full of guilt and I felt pity for him.

"It's not about that Stefan, about who's qualified to give advice and who's not. Is about what fits me; how can I manage it better. And I think this is my way of dealing with the urges." I said trying to make him understand.

"Well, if that is what seems right for you then so be it. And I would love for nothing more than to be the one that helps you through it. But I can't; because it isn't what fits me. I don't have a middle ground, with me it's all about extremes, unfortunately. So you see I don't have this luxury. I'm sorry, Elena, but I have to choose abstinence. I'm not strong enough to be around when you are feeding."

I felt sorry for him; for his continued struggle, for the fact that he didn't have a choice; it was a curse on top of the existing curse of being a vampire. I held him in my arms, trying to relieve some of his grief.

"It's okay, you don't have to worry; Damon will help. I trust him."

"I know you do." He finished curtly.

So began my twisted, programmed quality time with Damon. He promised it wouldn't last long; that in a few months I will be a well adjust, functional vampire. I wished it would last forever.

**Author Note: **Thank you for reading, I would love to hear your opinions.


	6. Frustration

**Disclaimer: I do not own TVD or any of the characters, they belong to their rightful owners. This is wrote for non-profit purposes only.**

From the second he left Mystic Falls, Klaus knew that he needed help. As he was now forced to live in Tyler's body he couldn't straight things out on his own. He needed a very powerful witch and allies. As for the latter, seeing that he couldn't make new hybrids, he was forced to rely on his family, on his siblings. He was not glad about it as he couldn't be sure of their loyalty, but after all, beggars can't be choosers. So, taking a leap of faith, he went in their search.

It didn't take long to find them; after all he knew some things about their habits. Their reunion almost made Klaus happy because he was flabbergasted to see their relief as they found out he was alive, well sort of. It was almost funny how the prospect of his death made his siblings more eager to forgive him.

"What do you plan to do now brother?" Elijah asked.

"The obvious thing. Fight and win. And I hoped we could do it together." Klaus responded.

"And who are our enemies Niklaus?"

"Do I have to spell out everything for you Elijah? The Salvatore's and that aggravating little witch."

"Well, excuse me, but I was under the impression that the witch saved your life." Elijah continued soberly.

"You're using the word 'save' rather loosely. Bloody hell, they trapped me under a spell to rot for eternity."

During this exchange, Rebekah couldn't take her eyes off of 'Tyler'. And finally she voiced her concerns.

"But, I was there, Nik, I saw you getting staked, I saw the flames. How can it be? Elijah, as much as I want to believe this, it could be a trick." Disbelieve and hope was written all over the blonde's face.

"All that you saw, my dear, was nothing else than witchie theatricals, you know how they always aim to put on a good show. You see sis, more than she wanted me dead she wanted her friends and her precious mother alive, so she put me for safeguard in this atrocious body, and imbued with some kind of ancient spell my body. Ta-dam!" Klaus explained.

"So, she did save you." Rebekah pointed out.

"Alright, if you guys want to be technical about it, yes, the righteous teenage witch did save me, but then she wanted to put me back to decompose. Don't you see? I was only a mean to an end for her." Klaus was exasperated.

"I think it's suffice to restore your body with the help of another witch and then to forget everything about Mystic Falls and their supernatural residents. They are not our enemies." Elijah insisted.

Rebekah nodded in agreement. She was glad to have her brother back and now that he no longer was able to create more hybrids she hoped to have her family back together after so many centuries. She simply didn't want to fight anymore; she didn't want to run no more.

Klaus was beyond infuriated.

"Are you all idiots? They are not our enemies? First of all they still have my body. They have the magic little stake that could kill us all. And I don't want to sound malicious or anything, but they won't use it on me seeing as I am after all their vampire ancestor. But you lot? You are not that safe. They have a witch that taped into black magic. You all now how fun those witches are. And let's not forget, Rebekah basically killed their sweet, precious Elena, which by the way now is a vampire. Do you honestly think that they don't seek revenge? I wonder how did you managed to stay alive for so long seeing how utterly naïve you are."

"She is a vampire?" Rebekah and Elijah said in unison but as the voice of the former was filled with annoyance, the voice of Elijah rang with sadness.

Kol, who until then sat aside, listening to all of them arguing, rose and approached them.

"It's settled then, we fight, we win." He said.

Rebekah and Elijah approved half-heartedly. Once again, after centuries they were a family, united, even if it was because of a war.

* * *

The voices were clearer, louder, they were invading her mind, affecting her life. Bonnie tried to ignore them, to not listen to their tempting offers. But she soon discovered that ignoring them made things worse. The dead witches began screaming in her head, they gave her hallucinations that freaked her out, unbearable nightmares. So, she began to listen, hoping that she will have the strength to resist them.

After a while she could distinguish between the voices, they were five witches. She found out that they lived in the time of the great massacre of witches; the same one from which she harvest her strength when she first attempted to kill Klaus. But they were not killed with the rest of them, since due to their black magic they were a lot powerful. They escaped. Not for long though; the town's people found them and ended their life in an excruciating way.

Bonnie realized fast enough that they sought revenge and that they planned to use her for it. But as long as she didn't use any more black magic, she was safe, they couldn't get her.

* * *

It was almost evening as we sat in a secluded, little bar outside the town. Damon insisted we go there after I feed. He praised the virtues of alcohol; he claimed that would do wonders for my control. I knew he was full of bullshit. He wanted a drink and he deserved one since he babysat me all day.

As we slowly drank our beverages I thought about Alaric. This was what they so often did, sit in comfortable silence and drink their troubles away. I was sad beyond belief for loosing Ric, but I couldn't imagine the loss Damon suffered. After all Ric was my guardian and I loved him, but he was Damon's best friend, Damon's only friend. Scratch that, I was his friend too. Actually, truth be told, for as much as I stretched during the last two years that I was his friend, I wasn't so sure anymore. I didn't think that 'friend' captured truly what we were for each other, the need we felt for one another, the understanding between us, the longing? But what word captured? What word defined us?

"A penny for your thoughts. No, I can do better, a scotch for your thoughts." He said playfully.

"I don't drink scotch, Damon."

"You should. It's the best. You should go outside of your comfort zone, try new drinks, new hobbies, I would say new men but I think we're not there yet."

"There?" I whispered while turning red. Do vampires turn red? Apparently so.

"In a place where I can make inappropriately jokes without it being awkward as hell. And judging by the color of your cheeks, I say I was right. We are not there yet."

He sounded so amused, so fine with all of it. How come he was so at ease? Making jokes, being so casual. I wasn't. I still thought about our kisses, about our skins touching. His mere presence still made my stomach to flutter. And why did it bother me that he seemed to cope so well?

"Maybe I will be _there_ Damon when I will fucking understand why just sitting next to you makes me feel so damn alive." I blurted out without thinking. Frustrations out in the open are a dangerous thing.

I kid you not, he chocked on his precious scotch. He gasped for air.

"What are you talking about? Elena, I was willing to let go of that last kiss seeing as you were, let's say, not quite yourself with the blood and everything. But now? Look around, there's no blood."

I said absolutely nothing, all the while cursing myself for not keeping my mouth shout to begin with.

He started to get anxious, no, in fact he was seriously pissed. Well, only a few minutes before I resented him for being so relaxed around me. Problem solved. A trillion of other problems appeared but at least that one was solved.

"Spill Elena. You made your choice, actually you reinforced your choice. I was ok with it. I wanted to leave, to give you space. You didn't want that. I stayed. Then you kiss me. I gave you a break. Then you're saying things like 'staying next to me makes you feel alive'. Do you honestly don't see why I might be confused, why I might need an explanation?" He talked in short sentences, each one louder than the previous.

"I….Damon, I don't know."

"What don't you know Elena? Two weeks ago you knew very well, you choose Stefan."

"That was a lifetime ago, Damon, and you know it."

"So? You're saying you've changed your mind?" for crying out loud there was so much hope in his voice that I wanted to stake myself.

"No, I'm not saying that."

"I think is best if I take you home, now." he said void of any kind of emotion.

"Please, Damon, let me try to explain. I honestly don't know anything anymore. I know that I chose Stefan for a reason, but this doesn't mean that all the reasons for which I would have chose you disappeared. And to add to that, ever since I turned I can't stop thinking about you, I long for your touch, I seek your presence, and when I don't see you for half of day I feel like I'm going insane with impatience. It's crazy; it's like a side effect or something."

"So I'm a side effect? You sure know how to burst a man's ego."

"No, no, I'm not saying that. I'm only saying that before my desires for you were tamed. And I don't know what's real anymore. Maybe it's an adaptation period."

"Oh, so much better. I can see you don't have your words with you tonight, my dear. So I will say it for you. Correct me if I'm wrong. You're feeling things for me, most of them sexually, and you're hopping that they are all due to your recent change in life status – from alive to undead; that way you could continue to have your pure, untainted by lust, love with Stefan. Am I right?" He was so brutal that my heart ache, but I knew I deserved it.

I was unable to respond, mainly because it was true - I hoped that all this feelings were because of my recent transformation. But I knew that my desires for him were so much more than physical attraction, only that I didn't yet quite understand what exactly.

"I see I'm right, your silence is proof enough. Well, I don't want to be the bringer of bad news sweetheart, but, tonight I'm forced to be. First of all, even though I enjoyed my glorious days as a sex toy, I don't ever plan to be yours. Secondly you can blame many things on vampirism, hurting people being one of them, but you can't believe that it creates feelings where they are not. Or maybe, you can, if you want to live in a fantasy world and don't feel guilt for what your heart or body wants." He finished his rant.

He could have slapped me and it would have hurt less, be less humiliating. As it was I felt devastated. I began to cry even though I knew it wasn't fair to him. But I couldn't stop the tears from falling in a cascade.

Through shaking sobs I managed to say after I grabbed his hand, all the while looking in his eyes.

"Don't hate me Damon, please. I hate myself enough for making you suffer. Don't hate me. I wouldn't be able to handle it. I need you. Oh, God, how much I need you. Please, promise me, you'll forgive me and you'll still be my friend."

He wrapped his arm around my shoulders and kissed me gently on my forehead.

"I don't and will never hate you Elena. I now and forever will love you. Of that you can be sure. As for the forgiving part, it was about time I would have what to forgive you for. For a while there it seemed you were the only one offering forgiveness. So, you see, give and you shall receive."

I smiled through the tears. Was there a time when I thought that Damon had nothing human in him? I must have been blind.

**Author ****Note**: Thanks for reading; I appreciate the kind reviews I received and I hope you will keep telling me your thoughts on the story; how can I improve it and if you have any advice or complaints.


	7. Facing the truth

**Disclaimer: I do not own TVD or any of the characters, they belong to their rightful owners. This is wrote for non-profit purposes only.**

After another couple of weeks I felt more at ease around people, I was no longer afraid that I will snap. As a result I was allowed to see Jeremy more often, even to sit alone with him in the same room. That did wonders to my state of mind.

I also began to spend more time with Bonnie and I was seriously concerned about her. She didn't seem alright at all; she was nervous all the time, more often than not I'd catch her loosing focus. Finally I asked her what was this all about. She was caught off guard and she tried to deny that something was wrong. I insisted, I knew my friend and I knew when she lied; and besides, hearing her heart betting faster when she told me nothing was wrong, helped a bit. In the end she admitted to be worried about Klaus. She told me that it was basically impossible for her to bring back Klaus in his body and to let him desiccate if she didn't have a physical connection with him. But most of all she was worried that Klaus could find a way to regain his body; that's why she and the brothers tried to hide his body as well as they could. After a minute of silence she continued reluctantly. And what she had to say was mind blowing. She knew a way to break the connection between the Originals and the rest of the vampires. I was absolutely exhilarated until I saw how scared she was of the possibility.

"What's wrong Bonnie? Isn't it good news?" I asked confused.

"It's so dangerous; it might be a point of no return for me."

"What are you talking about? You're scarring the heck out of me."

"It kinda requires a lot of black magic, and I'm afraid that I might loose control." She was entirely petrified.

"Black magic? There is such a thing? I thought the witches were protectors of the nature, trying to keep the balance steady."

"Well, apparently even the best can be corrupted."

"If this is what bothers you the solution is obvious, you won't do the spell."

"Yeah, I hope I can avoid it, but if I were to have a choice between doing it and Klaus killing us, I would do it."

"That won't be a choice you will have to face, after all Klaus is in no position to be a threat to us in the state he is, and we can keep him that way." I tried to sound reassuring. She almost smiled but the sadness, the fear was still there, in her eyes.

* * *

In spite of my last outburst the field trips with Damon continued; and I was grateful for it. I behaved better, careful not to say or do anything that might hurt him more. For a while there I honestly thought that we could go back on being just friends. After one of these journeys we found ourselves in a meadow very close of the main road, but still apparently disconnected by civilization. The sun was weak, preparing to descend, you could smell in the air the closeness of the summer night; I felt free.

We sat in silence for some time, enjoying the nature. At one point I rose from the grass and I began to run using my still new abilities. I did that from time to time, when we were outside of town. He remained on the grass laughing all along of my childhood behavior. I knew it made him glad when I was playful; it was easy to see it in his eyes, to feel it in his demeanor.

Finally I stopped and joined him again on the grass.

"Soon I won't remember there was a time when I wasn't able to do this kind of things." I said pensive.

"You are always going to remember being a human Elena; maybe you're going to be lucky enough to not miss it to much."

"You know what? Surprising as it is, I think I won't."

He raised a brow, his eyes full of wonder.

"It's quite surprising." He said.

"I know; I can't put it into words, but I feel that this life isn't a dead end. I know that I lost many things, the chance of a family, of having kids, of growing old. But somehow, as strange as it sounds, I have the acute sensation that so more things awaits for me; things for me to discover."

His face lightened with pure happiness; it was a rare view and I noticed that he looked even more beautiful. He took my hand into his and kissed it tenderly, leaving a burning sensation behind that traveled across my body.

"I'm glad you feel this way and I can promise you that exhilarating adventures waits for you. You will have the most exciting undead life. Vampire across the world will die with jealousy." He said with a big smile plastered across his face.

I chuckled. "I didn't know you had the gift of foreseeing, Damon. Maybe you could join a circus. That would be so fun. See? There is an adventure fit for you."

He elbowed me humorously. "I won't back away from the challenge but only if you come along. You could use those cheerleading skills of yours and do some neat acrobatics. Mmm, you know what would be real fun? If we had cool stage names. What should yours be?" He stopped then, pretending to think hard of some alias for me.

"Yours should be _smartass_." I mocked.

"That won't be good for business; but you're right we should incorporate _ass _somehow, it's one of my best assets."

I laughed out loud.

"Now, seriously, Damon," I began after I stopped laughing, "I thought about things this past month."

"I'm not surprised, you always think about things."

"Stop it, I'm being serious. You know that just right after I turned I said that I don't want to leave Mystic Falls. That I needed the connection. Funny enough, since that moment on, I kept feeling captive; the only moments when I felt free were when we are in this feeding trips of ours."

"Captive is not a good way to feel, I agree with you. So what are you saying?"

"Seeing as I began to have things under control, I thought I could return to high school, finish it in the next two months and then that we could leave this town."

"You really want that?"

"Yes, I really do, Jeremy could stay one more year with Matt, Bonnie and Caroline, and then he could join us."

"And were do you want to go Elena?"

As I heard his question I began to feel the thrill; the prospects seemed so real, close, and, most of all, appealing. There were so many places I wanted to see, to explore. Even thinking about it was overwhelming.

"Everywhere. We could go to Rome, to Paris. Imagine the fun we would have sitting in a bistro, listening to Edith Piaf's songs. Oh, Damon, I want so much to see London, you have no idea. I love England, and the British humor. Oh, can we go to Egypt? I want to see the pyramids. You know what? I want to see Japan. And India, oh my God, India. Mmm, we should definitely go to Greece. Everyone loves Greece, what's not to love? They have all the cool gods. And we should go to Rio, we could party as hell at the carnival. We should go everywhere." I was like a child in a room full of candies.

He laughed wholeheartedly at my excitement.

"Then we should start making arrangements. We have a lot of ground to cover. We might need to sell the boarding house to cover the expenses." He said apparently serious. But when I watched him with concern he began to laugh.

"Elena, relax, we are vampires, money is not an issue."

I sighed with relief.

"Then it's settled." I said imagining the adventures that lay ahead.

"It's settled. You, me and Stefan; this should be interesting."

I looked at him confused and then it hit me with the power of a hurricane. I never thought about Stefan. I must have honestly lost my mind, but not even for a second, while imagining the places where we could go, did I thought about Stefan, did I pictured him there. All the while I saw only Damon and me in every one of those cities. And right then, in the middle of nowhere, I finally realized. It was quite obvious, but it took me so long. I loved him. I loved Damon.

**Author Note: **Thank you for reading; as always I am open to suggestions.


	8. Letting go

**Disclaimer: I do not own TVD or any of the characters, they belong to their rightful owners. This is wrote for non-profit purposes only.**

I was half surprised that there weren't holes in my floor seeing as I couldn't stop walking from one side of the room to the other for the entire night.

After Damon dropped me home, Stefan came by. I came up with so lame excuse; something along the lines of catching up with homework for my impending return to high school. It was pathetic and transparent, but it was all I managed to say. I needed to be alone; it was beyond my powers to spend the night under the same roof with Stefan when in the same day I realized that I loved his brother. Stefan, being considerate and sweet as always pretended to buy my story and he went back to the boardinghouse.

So I spent the whole night wide awake thinking. And walking. And thinking again. And then walking some more. Oh, I forgot, and from time to time saying out loud "I love Damon", trying to capture the meaning of it.

At one point I reached for my diary in an attempt to make order in my thoughts. But the movement of my hand broke mid-way because that diary belonged to another life, a life when I was human, a life with Stefan, with friends and family. So I kept pacing through the room.

First of all I knew that I cared about Damon, I knew that I had feelings for him even when I was a human. That was obvious, because of those feelings I even considerate him as a choice. But I never thought they were love. I once said that they consumed me. I said it to Matt. And I honestly believed that love should be peaceful, should give you tranquility in a world otherwise full of chaos. And what I felt for Damon back then never offered me peace or stability. With Damon everything was about uncertainty, regarding him, his actions, his impulses; my actions too around him were always a surprise. It made it exciting being around him, but also dangerous. Yes, for sure, I didn't believe it was love, I thought it was some thrilling attraction for the novelty of it all, for the risk that laid in it. Sometimes, I thought it was passion.

Secondly, after I turned and my need for his presence became agonizing I tried to blame it on the change that I went through. I reasoned that because I had all those carnal urges, all those fantasies about his body, it was all some chemical reaction to vampirism. It was silly and stupid and childish on my part and he called me on it, but it was my way of not dealing with my feelings.

But that late afternoon in the meadow I couldn't escape my feelings any longer. I basically imagined all my undead life only with Damon, it wasn't even conscious on my part. It was pure and simple a reflex. It was natural.

I loved Damon. It was that easy. And I loved him for quite some time, but I had walls and fears and so many misconceptions about what love was supposed to be. I sought to be always in control and with Damon I never was. But that was immature on my behalf; you can't really be in control when you deeply love somebody. In my quest to maintain a free risk zone in my love life I overlooked the fact that love is always a risky business, and it should be that way, because you gave your heart to someone else; suddenly his actions impact you more than your one. Maybe I was too afraid as a human to admit that, maybe I saw myself as too vulnerable, too ephemeral as to embark on such a bumpy ride. But not anymore, now I felt strong enough, now my desires, my feelings, were no longer that scary; putting my heart on the line suddenly appeared as the only viable option.

'It always gonna be Stefan' was a line that came from my vulnerability, from my weakness. 'I love Damon' was a realization that came from my strength, from my empowering transformation.

As I cleared all my doubts, as I accepted that I truly did loved Damon with everything he was, good or terribly wrong, I felt suddenly free; like a huge weight had lifted from my chest.

It was three o'clock in the morning and I was laughing out loud in my room. I was almost hysterical, because all those frustrations, all those bottle up feelings, everything was now in the open; and it felt liberating

It was right to love Damon. It wasn't even a choice. Only then it finally hit me that I was foolish enough to believe that I can choose between Stefan and Damon. I actually thought that I could choose between them the same way I choose between strawberry and chocolate ice cream. Love is not a choice, love just is; I tried to make it a choice and I choose Stefan, but now I knew better; love just is.

I laid in my bed with a dumb, ecstatic smile that almost hurt my face.

As the first, feeble, rays of sunshine entered my room I knew what I had to do next. It wasn't going to be pleasant but it was necessary.

I called Stefan and I asked him to meet me for a walk.

It was six o'clock in the morning when we met and the streets were empty. Maybe I should have waited a few hours, but I felt a pressuring need to do the right thing right away. As it was to be expected Stefan was worried about our impromptu rendezvous, and as he looked into my eyes he knew something was wrong. He kissed me tentatively like he suspected that maybe he didn't have the right any longer.

"Is something wrong Elena?" his voice was small.

"I needed to talk to you Stefan. It's very difficult." I paused and he didn't said anything either. He just waited for his sentence.

"Please walk with me a little." I continued. Maybe I wanted for us to walk along so that I won't be forced to look him in the eyes. And as he nodded in acceptance I decided to stop being a coward, after all the last night was all about me facing my fears.

So I said "No, better let us sit on this bench, please?"

We sat and I looked him closely in the eyes, I took his hand into mine and I began talking.

"I want you to know, to remember, that I love you Stefan. This will never change."

"But something is changing, isn't it?" he said almost resigned.

"Something was never there Stefan, and only now I see it. I love you Stefan, I truly do, but I'm not in love with you. I think I never was." I said it quickly like ripping a bandage, but I knew that the pain would be unbearable nevertheless.

"But you are in love with Damon, aren't you?" not one single accusation in his tone, and I thought for a split second that maybe he was the better man, only not for me, not my man.

"I don't want to talk about Damon, I don't want to make this about him. This is about us, about how you deserve someone that loves you as deeply as you do. About me and how I cannot bare the thought of making you suffer; and I will because I will never be in love with you." I tried to reason.

"Maybe you don't want to talk about Damon, Elena, but we both know that he is a big part of this. It's alright, you made the wrong choice and now you're fixing it." I thought I heard a trace of bitterness in his words.

I sighed and fought a tear that was threatening to drop. I took a deep breath and continued.

"I know it hurts you Stefan, I know I'm hurting you, and you must know that it pains me deeply to be the one that's causing it. But it's something I have to do, for the both of us. Maybe it sounds fake, maybe you think that it's just selfness on my part, but I truly think it's not. Do you remember when we went at the bonfire, right after we met?"

"I do, I remember everything about you, about us."

"We walked away from the others and we talked, we connected. You asked me about Matt. And I told you that he was my best friend, that I loved him, but that something was missing."

As I talked I noticed he remembered; that he knew what I was going to say, I continued anyway.

"And you said that passion was what was missing. You were right and I knew it right away. And as I looked into your breathtakingly beautiful eyes I hoped that I would find passion with you. But we never had it Stefan, we loved each other, we needed each other, we were both so hurt when we met, we needed tenderness, but we never burned, our love was always tamed. And we both deserve more; we both deserve that passion that I know you too crave after. I know this because I saw it in your eyes that night."

As I finished I realized that the tears I tried to prevent were already on my cheeks. I still had his hand into mine he still had his gaze on my face.

"I understand Elena, you are right, you deserve that passion. You deserve all the beautiful things in the world and i wish for nothing more than your happiness even if that means Damon. But I think I felt passionate about you, I think that you were _that _love for me. Doesn't matter, that's my problem, not yours."

I started to cry full force. I wanted to be brave, but it was just too damn heartbreaking.

"I think you are wrong Stefan, I think that love still awaits for you." I said while whipping the tears off my face.

"Well, let's hope you're right. But you shouldn't feel remorseful about your decision. I won't burden you with my sadness or anything. You will see that I know how to lose the girl with grace, not just how to win her."

He kissed my forehead and he even forced a smile. He was honestly too good to be real. But I still knew he was not good for me.

**Author Note: Thank you for reading. I hope you enjoyed it so far; you can click the „review" button and let me know if you did or didn't for that matter :) . Have a nice day, evening, night!**


	9. Troubles ahead

**Disclaimer: I do not own TVD or any of the characters, they belong to their rightful owners. This is wrote for non-profit purposes only.**

Coming home after my encounter with Stefan I found Elijah waiting for me on the porch. If he was sitting there outside my house it was clearly a form of courtesy because since I wasn't a human anymore my house was a free zone for vampires; no invitation required. These well behaved manners didn't do anything to diminish my anger. I trusted him and he betrayed me. I tried to calm myself because I knew it wasn't in my best interest to antagonize an Original, be it the most calm of them.

I approached him and looked at him questioningly.

"Hello Elena! I'm sorry for your loss." He said sounding sincere, but I was still very much pissed.

"Oh, you mean my life? No biggie. It's not like you promised you and your family will leave us alone." I couldn't help but say.

"That was unfortunately, I admit. And I don't want to excuse what Rebekah did, but you see she thought that Klaus was dead."

"Even if he would have been dead it wouldn't have been because of us." I said more rationally.

"Well, that might be up for disagreement, after all he was incapacitated, unable to defend himself because of you. But I don't want us to fight over faults, be it ours or yours. It all went completely wrong and that's the truth. What we should do is assure that nothing tragic happens from now."

"And what do you propose Elijah?" I asked curious.

"That you and the Salvatore's give us Klaus's body. We already have a witch to do the restoration spell, so no need for Bonnie's involvement. And then we will leave you all in peace. There's no need for any more suffering Elena. You as a vampire are no longer of use for Klaus. We can put an end to all."

"Sounds nice, but I think we already done that deal and your family broke it. You see, Elijah over the past year the two of us always tried to make deals, to help each other somehow, completely ignoring the fact that we were actually on two opposite sides. And it only brought us betrayal. I betrayed you, you betrayed me. And we keep on trying to fool ourselves that we can come to an understatement. We should face the truth Elijah, maybe in another life we could have been the best of friends, but in this life we are enemies; our families are in a deadly war and we cannot stop it by diplomacy."

I saw a flicker of emotion in his eyes, he knew I was right and it seemed that it almost made him sad.

"You're going to regret this Elena; this war is not one that you could possibly win." And with those words he left, but after a few steps he turned around and said with a bitter smile.

"I would have loved to meet you in another life Elena."

And with that I was alone on my porch shivering with fear; my eternal life as a vampire suddenly could become a very short one.

After less than an hour the whole gang was in my kitchen trying to decide what we should do next. We knew that Klaus wouldn't give up without a fight, we expected him to be back, but the fact that his siblings were ready to help him made our odds even less favorable.

Looking around the table I saw fear in all of their eyes, Damon's weren't an exception but in his you could also read determination, he was ready to fight. That gave me a little bit of hope, I would fight next to him and as I told him before 'we will always survive'.

It was the first time the brothers and I were in the same room after my break-up with Stefan, and I wondered if Damon knew about it. If he knew, he sure as hell didn't let it show. I desperately wanted to be alone with him, to tell him I loved him, to make up for all the time we lost, to try to erase all the harsh words I told him over the years. But it would have to wait a little longer, even though each minute seemed an eternity now that I embraced this love.

As I finished letting them in with what Elijah had to say the first to talk was Damon.

"I think kudos is in order for not making another of your marvelous deals with Elijah. I mean it started getting on the point of 'fool me once…'"

"Damon." Stefan said simply.

"It's okay Stefan, Damon is right, I couldn't deny any longer the reality that Elijah is not on our side." I saw Stefan flinch as I agreed with his brother.

"Alright, sane judgment checked, sides checked, just around the corner war checked. Now all we have to do is prepare a strategy, figure out our strengths and our vulnerabilities." Damon said while looking to all of us.

We were not a good sight to be quite honest; and the silence was almost painful. Jeremy, Matt, Stefan appeared so tired. Caroline was absolutely devastated and Bonnie, well, Bonnie was lost in her own thoughts. And I knew exactly what those thoughts were about. She knew that she could give us a tremendous advantage by doing the spell that would separate Klaus by the rest of his lineage.

"I see no one wants to take the floor; so I will begin. You can call me 'General'. First of all our weaknesses are quite obvious, we are not Originals. As advantages go we have Klaus's body, this is of most importance. We have the enhanced by magic white oak stake. Good one also. And we have Bonnie's magic, a little bit of desiccation spell might go a long way." Damon continued.

"But we can't use the stake." Stefan pointed out.

"We can't use the stake on Klaus but the others are up for grabs." Jeremy interjected.

"Listen to the kid, Stefan. At least we can reduce their army. I'm starting to enjoy all these references to war, the boy in me rejoices." Damon attempted desperately to lighten the mood. It was so transparent and not at all successful.

"It doesn't matter how well we've hided Klaus's body, if he has a witch on his side he will eventually find it and get back in it." Bonnie voiced her concern.

A desperate silence engulfed us all for a moment or two.

"Let me ask you something Bonnie. What will happen if Tyler would die?" Damon asked nonchalantly and I saw Caroline shiver as the meaning of the question sank in.

Bonnie sighed but answered. "Well, then Klaus will be trapped in some kind of limbo state, and it would be very difficult to transfer himself to another body, even with the help of a skilled witch; but not impossible Damon."

"Still, it's our best chance. Klaus trapped; the rest of the Originals fair game as the stake is concerned. That might actually work." Damon drew a conclusion.

"Damon, we can't kill Tyler in order to buy a little time. It's wrong." Stefan argued.

"If it increases our odds at survival I think is a smart move, brother. After all he is one, we are a bunch. It's common sense."

"You don't care about us; you only care about Elena and her survival. So stop with the charade. You would stop at nothing to make sure she lives, no matter who gets hurt in the process." Caroline yelled, no longer able to contain her rage.

I would have stepped in, I would have said something, I felt the need too. But I couldn't because as much as I cared about Caroline, Damon wasn't the only one ready to sacrifice others or even himself for his love. I was equally selfish. And I couldn't bare the thought of Damon dying. Between Tyler and him I chose him. I would always choose him. So I said absolutely nothing as I watched Caroline storming out of the house.

As she entered the Mikaleson house Rebekah pinned her to a wall.

"What are you doing here?" she hissed through her teeth.

"I came to speak with Klaus." Caroline said determined.

"Well, I think I have a better idea." Rebekah continued smiling viciously as she increased her pressure on Caroline's neck.

"Nik, there's a young lady seeking for you." Kol shouted undisturbed by his sister's menacing glances.

Klaus made his entrance immediately, being quite surprised by Caroline's appearance.

"My love, haven't you heard that a war had started? Your presence here, delighting as it is, is as well quite foolish." Klaus said in Tyler's voice which made it all so more disturbing for Caroline.

"This is why I'm here." The blonde answered bluntly.

"Mmm. To be quite honest I must confess I'm rather excited by what this war means. You see, you and I are fast becoming the modern Romeo and Juliet. With a spin. It's tantalizing indeed."

"Yuck. I'm not here because of that, you perv. I just have an offer you can't refuse."

Klaus laughed.

"I see we are all about classical references today. What a pair, don't you think? I admit I'm intrigued. So please, follow me into my chambers. We could talk more privately."

As the two of them climbed the stairs Caroline wondered if she wasn't making a mistake.

**Author Note: **Hello! I'm very thankful for you guys reading this and I'm especially thankful to those of you who stopped by in the review section. Hearing from you makes me a little more confident about the story . Well, until the next time (chapter)!


	10. Believe me

**Disclaimer: I do not own TVD or any of the characters, they belong to their rightful owners. This is wrote for non-profit purposes only.**

I was moving frantically through my kitchen under the poor excuse that I was cleaning up what was obvious the cleanest part of my house. Damon was looking at me from aside, maybe trying to figure out if I lost it.

He stayed after Caroline's tumultuous exit while the rest of them went as well in the most deafening silence. We as a group didn't reach a conclusion, even though I was sure that Damon fully intended to kill Tyler in order to increase our odds at survival.

I was running up on things to pretend cleaning when he finally spoke.

"I promised you we would go seeking for adventures and instead adventure found us."

"Then maybe you shouldn't start a career as a fortune teller, after all."

"I'm sorry Elena, I'm sorry that all these awful things keep happening and I can't do anything to prevent them, to protect you from the horrors of it. But I can promise you that I will do everything humanly - and inhumanly for that matter - possible for you to get out of it unharmed."

"I know you will and that's what scares me most." I admitted while I came closer to him.

"Oh, you're going to preach me about Tyler. Sometimes you sound like a broke record, but so can I. So, for the umpteenth time Elena, I will always choose you. It's pointless to fight me on this; but, if it pleases you, you can pretend you stood up for your morals, for your friends, and that I, being the regular jerk that I am, didn't listen. See? Conscience clear."

"Shut up you fool. It's not about Tyler, as much as I hate myself for it, it's not about Tyler. I don't want to live no matter what. I don't want to survive in a world without you. So any stupid thing you plan to do make sure it doesn't endanger you. Do you understand me?" my voice was loud, almost like I was fighting him.

"With the risk of sounding stupid, I must say no, I don't understand you."

"These past weeks, Damon, I learned quite a few things about me. As it turns up, there were things that I was to afraid to face before; not anymore. I need passion, I long for a love that consumes me. I have the strength to fight for what I want and to admit what I want even though others would say is wrong. And I want you Damon, I love you."

He was dumbstruck.

"I love you, Damon, and I need you to survive this more than I need to assure my survival. Apparently we have more things in common that first meets the eye. I could walk on graves too just to know that you will be alright. If it comes down between you and Tyler, well…"

"Alright Elena, I'm going to pretend that I didn't hear your babble. You're gonna thank me once you get a grip on yourself."

He didn't believe me; he thought I was passing through some sort of temporary insanity moment. It actually annoyed me, but a part of me understood him. After all, why would he believe me? I made sure every time I had the chance to stress out that Stefan was the one I loved. Even when I allowed myself to talk about my feelings toward him, I always suggested that it had more to do with lust than with love. He was in his rights not to trust me.

"Damon, you listen to me. I'm not crazy. I'm in love with you, head over heels, butterflies in my stomach, tingles all over my body kind of love. I tried to deny it, to play it safe; but it's bigger than life, bigger than death. I love you madly just the way you are and that's the only truth I know anymore." As I continued my declaration I kept looking into his eyes, trying to see if he believes me. I saw all kinds of emotions in his gorgeous frosty eyes – love, happiness, hope, distrust, fear.

"Elena, I don't have the courage to believe you. It may destroy me." I never saw him this honest before, this vulnerable; even on his death bed. It was like any mask that he used to protect himself was stripped down; standing there in front of the woman he loved, fighting the hope, he was only a bare soul. And I loved him even more.

"You must, dammit, you must believe me. I'm gonna make you believe me." I said while coming inches away from his face letting my body, my lips do the talking for me. I kissed him into oblivion. It was the first time I was kissing him being full aware that it wasn't just about desire or lust, but about love, the love of my life. And I felt it; I felt the change that that admission brought. He must have felt it too, because as our kiss deepened it was like coming home.

He was the one that broke our kiss, it started to become a custom, and I didn't like it one bit. I step back panting like crazy, wanting more, but also curious to see if he understood that my love was real.

"It's always going to be Stefan. You said it Elena." He wasn't ready to surrender.

"And I was wrong. You have no idea how much I wish I would have face the truth sooner. I didn't, I was weak; but you can't possibly blame me for it forever. You also said things and afterwards went back on them."

"Once I said I loved you I never went back, Elena."

"Well, that's not exactly true, isn't it? You compelled me to forget that you love me because I deserved more, because Stefan was the better man. And afterwards you changed your mind, and you began to fight for me, for my love."

"Yeah, you're right. And what did that brought me? I dared to hope and…well, you know the outcome."

"The outcome is that I love you Damon and for God's sake you must believe me. I know I hurt you deeply, I know you're trying to protect yourself from me, but I'm done protecting myself from my love for you. And if you will let me, I will make sure to spend my eternity making up for my mistakes; for me not seeing you, not seeing us. Damon, I might have chosen Stefan before, but that was weakness on my part. You're my courage, you're my heart, and I don't want to spend my undead life without you. After all I did the transition because of you, you owe me that. You owe me your love." As I spoke I was becoming more and more agitated and, to be frank, a little bit irrational.

But after I finished talking to my excitement I saw acceptance in Damon's eyes. He was ready to believe. He was ready to take a leap of faith. And I would be there to catch him. Always.

He reached for me, taking me in his arms. He held me tightly without saying a word. Time was no longer. He kissed the top of my head and then he cupped my face all the while looking lovingly in my eyes. He brought his lips onto mine, and the touch was the most suave I ever experienced, like being kissed by the sun. It felt like poetry. I half expected a violin to start playing in the background. But soon our passion grew stronger and we lost ourselves in the other; the sensation was surreal; I never knew bliss like that – to give yourself to another person trusting that he will protect you better than you would. I've never been kissed quite like that – like it was a matter of life or death.

"There's no turning back Elena. From now on I will never let go of you. Do you understand that?"

He looked so awe-struck that it made me feel all giddy. I nodded.

"I'm counting on it Damon."

"I love you, Elena."

**Author Note: Hello! Hope you guys enjoyed this last chapter, even though I myself am not quite satisfied with it :) Anyway, I think that I might change in the near future the rating for this fanfic – from T to M. It appears that the story is leading me into a direction were a few characters might die (don't worry; Damon and Elena are safe obviously). But if you don't want to, I can fight the natural course and ensure a happier outcome for everybody. Just let me know. I aim to please :) .Well, this was a long author note for me. Thank you and see you soon!**


	11. Scheherazade Style

**Disclaimer: I do not own TVD or any of the characters, they belong to their rightful owners. This is wrote for non-profit purposes only.**

"So, my love, what's the offer that I can't refuse?" Klaus asked Caroline.

"First of all, stop it with 'my love'. You are incapable of loving by design. Secondly I think I can offer you what you want."

"My dear, if you are offended by my courtship saying things like 'you will offer me what I want' won't help your cause." Klaus retorted.

"Oh, oh, you are so infuriating! You always turn everything I say into something dirty. You are, well, you are obnoxious."

Klaus began laughing clearly amused by the blonde in front of him. He truly thought she was special, amusing him even in these unfortunate circumstances; she must be special.

Caroline became more and more aggravated by his behavior. For God sake, she was here risking everything, doing something unimaginable, practically putting her faith in this horrifying creature and he was laughing? It was unbelievable.

"Do you want your body or not?" she finally snapped.

That caught Klaus's attention.

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying that I know where your body is and that I will lead you to it with one condition." The blonde replied boldly.

"And where do you find the nerve to put conditions my dear? May I remind you that you are in a house full of Originals and that we are not above torturing people? Don't hold it against me, is just a friendly reminder."

"Don't you worry, I'm very well aware of the type of person you are. I don't put anything past you. But you shouldn't underestimate me and my capacity to resist pain; I rather die than giving in. So, we will do this in my terms or we won't do it at all."

Klaus took a moment to think; meanwhile Caroline was fighting hard the fears that threaten to overwhelm her. She knew she was being reckless, but what other choice she had? That morning in Elena's kitchen she realized something of most importance – Damon would fight for his love, Elena will also. They were ready to sacrifice others for their happiness. She wasn't blind. She knew for a long time now that Damon's love wasn't unrequited. So she was in her rights to be equally selfish. Tyler's life depended on her. She would fight for it. A little voice inside her told her she was fighting for another hybrid's life too; but she wasn't eager to listen to that particularly voice.

"Alright, you win. What are your conditions?" Klaus finally spoke.

* * *

I was laying in my bed contemplating the events of the day. It was a very full day. It had sadness, fear, desire, the prospect of a fight bigger than we were ready to face and it had love. And because of the latter I now thought of it as the best day in my life, both of my lives.

I was, obviously, petrified that soon enough we could all be dead. I was afraid for everyone's well-being, but I would lie if I wouldn't say that Damon's was my biggest concern. The possibility that now that we finally found each other all could end in a blink of an eye was not just terrifying but, most of all, revolting. It just wouldn't be fair. Not for him, not for me. The revolt rising inside me brought a resolution – I would fight fate with all my power if it wants to tear us apart. I was ready to defend my love against anyone.

My window opened slowly and in my room appeared Damon.

"What are you doing here? I thought you were spending the night at the boarding house." I asked surprised.

"That was my intent, but as I sat in the parlor enjoying a glass of my finest scotch, it suddenly occurred to me that I might have dreamed it all. That it was all a figment of my imagination. I wouldn't put it pass me. So, I had to come here and see if I gone crazy. Or maybe if the crazy one is you and you actually do love me."

I laughed softly.

"I am the crazy one. It's me. Crazy about you."

"Oh, then all is good. This is the way you're going to be from now on? You're going to use all the clichés about love?" he teased.

I rose to my knees and crawled on my bed until I was facing him. I entangled my arms around his neck and I pulled him down to my lips. As I was about to kiss him I stopped and whispered 'yes'. Then I pulled away fast while laughing.

"I'm going to say the most syrupy things, the corniest love declarations. I'm going to cite poets. Maybe I'm even going to write you some poems. It's going to be a never ending fairytale. Oh, and I don't think that a day will pass without references to unicorns and butterflies and….oh, well, you get the point. You're going to vomit, I'm sure." I babbled.

He laughed; he was the most care free I ever saw him. This was Damon when he didn't suffer. And I was the reason for his happiness. I put an end to his pain. That alone was enough to make me ecstatic.

"Well, this will severely damage my badass image. I do have a reputation I must live to. But you know the sacrifices one makes for love. So, go ahead, indulge in silly declarations, I will stoically resist."

"You're the silly one, Damon. Come here next to me and be quiet for a while, you're driving me insane."

He laid next to me in bed, wrapping his arms around me. As I was cuddling next to his body I wondered if too much happiness could kill you.

"So you are already telling me to shut up? I suppose I'm just a pretty face for you." He sighed pretending to take offence.

"Yup, just a pretty face."

For a while we sat in silence, neither of us ready to fall asleep; wanting this day to never end. He broke the silence after half an hour or so.

"I still wonder, I mean, I believe you and everything, but I still wonder."

"About?" I asked softly.

"You suddenly realizing you love me. I mean, don't get me wrong, never in my entire existence was I this happy. It's like every bit of pain, of heartache, of despair I suffered through the centuries was worth it if it brought me to this moment. Heck, I would gladly live ten times through all of it if I could have this day all over again. But, somehow, it doesn't make sense. For crying out loud I put you through hell. And you seemed so hang up on Stefan. I just can't wrap my head around it."

"My love! I promised you that I will spend eternity making it up to you. Each day I'm going to make sure to tell you why I love. So, let's start tonight."

"It's going to be like a story?" he asked humorously

"Yes, exactly like a story, each night before we go to sleep. Do you have a problem with it? It's too syrupy for your badass image?

. "Hmm, I can manage it. Go ahead."

"All right, just promise to be silent."

He nodded in acceptance so I began.

"From the moment I saw you something was there. I even admitted so when I told you we share some sort of understanding. It was a physical attraction, that's obvious; I mean who are we kidding? But it was something more. Then, at the beginning, I could see pass the gore, the violence of your nature, because of your love for her, for Katherine. And even though I never admitted to anyone, not even to myself, I envied her because she was loved that way. I mean you waited for her for centuries. You would have done everything to bring her back. You fought for her, you changed for her. And right then I knew that nobody had loved me quite this way and that this was the kind of love I needed. That night when you found out she wasn't in the tomb, that she betrayed you, you were so devastated, so damaged. And, weird as it sounds, I wondered if I would matter this much to anyone. But in those days, beside my envy, another question appeared. What man could love a woman so deeply, so madly? And something inside me knew the answer – a one of a kind."

"But I never loved Katherine. I thought I did. It turned up she was just an infatuation. I never knew love until you." He said vigorously.

"You promised you won't interrupt me. I know you didn't love her or at least I hope you didn't. But you loved love. You were in love with the idea of a love bigger than life. And that's even more wonderful. What testimony for the greatness of your heart. Now if you let me continue."

He nodded while looking down on me; I was still sitting with my head on his shoulder.

"So, that was in the beginning. After a while you started to give me more and more attention. And I was sure it was because of Katherine. And I despised it. It wasn't enough that I had to live with the fact that my boyfriend first noticed me because I looked like his ex, now you too? It felt like a curse. Like somehow I will always be compared to her, I will always get her leftovers. I must admit I was sickened by it. When Isobel told me you loved me I thought she was full of bullshit. To be quite honest, I never was sure of your love until we faced your impending death. Despite all the previous proofs only then I felt you loved me and that I wasn't some sort of projection of Katherine. Anyway, after you started to be more invested in my life, after our friendship evolved, you did all those things that remind it me of what it meant to be loved by Damon Salvatore. When you kissed Katherine thinking she was me I said I was offended that you would think that I kiss you back. It was a half-truth. Indeed it offended me that you would think that I was as fickle as Katherine, but I also knew that the reason you kissed me, or the one you thought it was me, was because you wanted to recapture the love you had with Katherine. And that offended me so much more."

"That's not true Elena."

"You promised to be silent." I said while pouting.

"And I will, but this is too important to not be cleared up. That night on your porch I already saw you as everything that Katherine wasn't. Kind and pure, human in heart, not only in body. You were already so much more than Katherine ever was. And me kissing you, well, thinking that I kissed you, was all about my love for you. I already loved you Elena. Not because of your resemblance with her, but because of you, of your soul, of everything that makes you unique."

"Well, this pleases me, but I won't carry on with my story tonight. You didn't keep your promise. You talked and talked and talked." I hugged him even tightly.

"That's not fair. I was only setting things right." He complained.

"Regardless, I will stop. After all tomorrow night it's another night for stories."

"Fine, but only if you say the magic words."

"I love you my darling."

"I love you too."

**Author Note: Once again, I'm very thankful to you for reading this fic, and most of all to those of you who are taking their time to review it. It matters to me since I'm new to this world of fanfic and also to this world of writing in English:). So I cannot stress out enough how grateful I am for your reviews. But I noticed that you said nothing regarding the possibility of future deaths amongst the characters. The next chapter will be a turning point. So if you have an opinion about it this is the time to speak up. I'll be back :)) **


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